


The Storms Awakening

by Themillenniumpeacock



Series: Waiting for the Storm [2]
Category: Star Wars
Genre: Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo that's now how you're supposed to use the Force, Kylo why are you so awful please stop that, Leia sass, M/M, Poe has got some serious things he needs to deal with, Poe knows that Finn is the best ever, Poe's pov, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Technically no actual stormpilot...yet!, just a little Kylux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:12:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themillenniumpeacock/pseuds/Themillenniumpeacock
Summary: “Why is it so imperative that I go alone?”The General actually smiled at Poe, “You're no longer retrieving information on Lor San Tekka’s whereabouts anymore. We now know where he is, and you're going to go and retrieve the information we so desperately need from him.”It took a moment for that to sink in. If they knew where Lor San Tekka was, and if he had what they thought he did, that meant that-“We’ll finally have the map to Luke Skywalker.” He whispered.“Yes,” the General's eyes were glossy now. “We can finally bring my brother home.”*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*This is The Force Awakens story, but from Poe Damerons point of view. There's some new things told that we didn't get to see in the movie. Hope you enjoy :3*ALSO* this is a part two of a series, the first part is needed for some context in relationships mentioned in this! I'll provide a summary in the notes before chapter one!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Just a reminder that this is the second part of a series I am writing! If you've read my fic 'The Calm Before', then you're all good and ready to jump into this one!
> 
> If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it because it isn't the worst thing ever, but here is a brief summary of the First bit!
> 
> ~The Calm Before: A Summary!~
> 
> Ben Solo has become obsessed with Youn Poe Dameron, a new member to the Resistance. After ignoring Poe's concerns about starting a relationship, Ben used the Force to subtly convince Poe to take things way too fast and they end up together. Poe doesn't know that Ben has manipulated him and wants to start a real relationship, and not having it be just sex. They spend a few days together, Poe falls hard for Ben, and begins putting his trust in him. Ben had lied to Poe though, by not telling him that any day Luke Skywalker is expected to take Ben to the Jedi Temple for training. Eventually Poe finds out (of course), and is very upset. Ben begins channeling the dark side of the Force to once again manipulate Poe into sex. Poe is distraught over what he has done not knowing that Ben is behind his actions. Ben gets upset that Poe doesn't want him anymore after his lies and leaves with Luke. Ben eventually turns on Luke, stealing his lightsaber, and vowing to take back what was rightfully his (Poe included).

“Yes Bee Bee, I know I've got to hurry,” Poe grunted as he attempted to pull on his boots while running at the same time. “There's no need to remind me.”

“Brwoop-bop!” The white and orange droid beeped at his master, rolling in pursuit after him. 

“Listen I don't need you telling me how bad this looks,” Poe grumbled. “I'll be hearing it from the General soon enough.” He knew he was in for it this time. This wasn't his first meeting he'd been late for, but this was the first high ranking personnel only, completely classified, top secret meeting that he had completely forgot about. He had no idea why he was asked to attend, and after his most recent screw up, this might be the last one he'd be asked to go to. 

Poe and BeeBee-Ate both skidded around the last corner and came to a halt right before the conference room door. Poe took a second to attempt to tame his curls and straighten out his jacket before he very quietly opened the door. 

As he poked his head through the gap he saw that everyone in the room was facing him. Great, he thought to himself, everyone already knew he was missing. Just great. 

“Glad you could finally join us, Dameron,” the General stated bluntly. 

“Yes of course General,” Poe smiled confidently, striding into the room, pretending as if he had done nothing was wrong. “How can I be of service today?”

The General leveled that look at him. Poe hated that look. He usually only saw it right before he landed himself in major trouble. 

Luckily for him the General sighed and started addressing the room. 

“All of us in this room know how much of a threat the First Order poses to the continued peace of the Galaxy. A peace that was hard won, most of us here having personally fought for it in one way or another.”

The General took a moment to acknowledge every individual in the circular room. There was eleven men, himself included, gathered there. Poe had always been impressed with how well the General had handled herself in the male dominated militaries and governments. She was a most impressive woman. 

“The Resistance has always maintained a strict ‘don't fire unless fired upon’ rule when dealing with the First Order, and that's kept the both of us off of the New Republic's radar. Until now, that is. The First Order has overstepped its bounds. We received word yesterday morning of rumors that a group of Resistance reconosense members that had been stationed on Maken Hek had gone missing. This morning we received confirmation that they had been kidnapped, tortured, and executed by the First Order.”

Small gasps of shock and cries of outrage we voiced around their circle. Poe clenched the table in front of him, trying to keep his anger at the First Orders cruelty controlled. 

“The time has come for us to start taking more aggressive measures. And sent to us before their untimely capture, the reconosense team had sent intel that their flagship, the Finalizer, had been headed to the Yavin system, and they're planning a raid upon the civilians there. While we can't prove it, we all know that the First Order is behind the largest string of kidnappings in the Galaxy. This is the chance we've been waiting for to catch them in the act, and prevent any further families from being ripped apart. We cannot let them take these children.”

“Technically we're still not allowed a full head on attack, but I plan on stopping them before their crimes can be fully carried out.”

Poe listened to the General assign missions to each leader in the room. She was perfectly balancing the political implications of her attack, keeping the Resistance safe from any fallback from their actions, while composing the perfect plan of attack against their enemies. While impressed, he was also confused. It was a great plan but he really didn't see how it involved him. He was just an X-Wing pilot, well an extraordinary X-Wing pilot, but this mission didn't seem to need his talents in anyway. 

“Now that you have your orders,” The General began addressing them as a whole again. “You all know what needs to be done. This is of the utmost importance and we cannot fail in this. May the Force be with us.”

As the room became filtering out with her dismissal, Poe heard his name being called out, “Dameron, a moment please!”

Alright now he was going to get it. He probably had some big role in this mission but his noticeable mistake had clearly cost him and gotten him left out. And now he was going to hear about it. 

Poe approached the General, that look appearing on her face again. The look of mixed disappoint, exasperation, and just a touch of anger. He didn't even have an excuse to try and give her to calm her down. 

“Dameron, I swear one of these days I'm going to throw you out of an airlock mid-space.” 

Poe shrugged and smirked, “If I'm being honest ma'am, I'm legitimately surprised you haven't already.”

A smile slowly crept onto her face. “If I didn't absolutely need you I would have,” she laughed. “You're a damned good pilot, you just got to work on keeping your responsibilities in order. I thought nearly twelve years on the base would've taught you that.”

Had it really been twelve years? Poe always tended to live in the moment, not thinking too far into his future, and avoiding dwelling in the past. There was too many demons waiting for him if his mind got away from the here and now...

“Regardless of how spaced out you can be flyboy,,” the General started, pulling Poe out of his thoughts, “I’m sure you noticed that I didn't give you any direct orders in the meeting.”

“I did notice.”

“That's because you will not be participating in the mission-”

Here it comes, he thought, time to face his punishment. 

“-because the mission itself is a decoy, a distraction.” 

Poe frowned in confusion, “So we're not going to try and save those kids?”

“Oh I'm stilling planning on accomplishing that, but I need to keep the First Order occupied while you carry out a mission of the utmost importance. You do remember that memory core you brought me from outer rim, the one we all believed the information on it would not be retrievable?”

Poe’s jaw dropped, “Don't tell me you got the information off of it?”

“We got the information off of it.”

“Yes!” Poe shouted. He had risked his life and the lives of his squadron to obtain that memory core. They had all been disappointed to learn that it was most likely damaged beyond repair. 

“Alright General,” Poe began excitedly. “Where's the next location? We've got to close to finding this old friend of yours, my squad can be ready to leave tonight-”

“Dameron, your squad isn't going anywhere-” The General attempted to interrupt.

“-Palva will be upset she's hasn't gotten a new astromech yet but-”

“Poe!”

He stopped speaking, eyes wide in confusion, “What was that, General?”

“Your squad isn't going with you. This is a one man mission, and you're that man.”

“But why?” Poe asked concerned. “There's no way there's another rat, we took care of that already! None of my team would leak this, I swear it!”

“Calm down Poe, it's nothing like that,” The General reassured him. “We need to make sure beyond any doubt that the First Order does not find out about this. A whole squadron of X-Wings poses a threat to the security of the mission. But one lone ship is much easier to keep undetected.”

Poe was a little uncomfortable with the idea of telling his squad that they weren't to be involved in his mission. They were loyal to a fault, and he had a feeling they'd try to follow him either way. It wouldn't be the first time they had done so against the Generals (and his) orders. 

“Why is it so imperative that I go alone?”

The General actually smiled at Poe, “You're no longer retrieving information on Lor San Tekka’s whereabouts anymore. We now know where he is, and you're going to go and retrieve the information we so desperately need from him.”

It took a moment for that to sink in. If they knew where Lor San Tekka was, and if he had what they thought he did, that meant that-“We’ll finally have the map to Luke Skywalker.” He whispered. 

“Yes,” the General's eyes were glossy now. “We can finally bring my brother home.”

After a pause, the General took a deep breath, all sentiment and emotion gone and replaced with a look of fierce determination. “You understand now just how important this mission is. You cannot fail, Dameron. And we will do everything on our end to keep the First Order off your trail. This may be one of the most important missions I'll ever personally give to you.”

Poe grasped both of her hands in his, “General, Leia, I promise you I won't fail. The very leaders of the First Order would have to personally take me out if they wanted to prevent me from getting that map!”

There was that exasperated look again, “Don't go and jinx yourself Dameron. Just get the map and get back here. Simple as that.” 

She paused just for a second. “Not even you could screw that up.” She said with a wink. 

Poe let out a burst of laughter. “I'm glad to know you still have some faith in me!” He shook his head, still grinning widely. “Alright General, when do I leave on this one man mission?”

“Today. Right now actually.”

“Right now?” Poe questioned. 

“Right now. I have already planned to make sure the entire hangar has been emptied so no one will see you leave. Also, you can't take Black One-”

“What?!”

“Don't interrupt me Dameron,” the General said dismissively. “Black One is too recognizable due to your eccentric choice of colors on it. That and once it's gone everyone here will know you have left. I've got one of the standard patrol X-Wings already waiting for you, fully fueled and prepped, on the far end of the airfield. I've had the calculations done and your arrival in the Star System should time out perfectly, about three standard hours after the Resistance has begun its diversion to keep their eyes off of you.

“I've already installed the proper star charts and the path I would like you to follow. Until you have the map in your hands I want you to keep radio silence with us. We’ll connect with you if we absolutely must, but we can't have the First Order picking up your voice and finding out where you're going. Is that all understood, Dameron?”

Poe’s mind was buzzing, he was still in a bit of shock upon finding out just how much the General had already prepared for him, for this very moment. The fact that she had the hangar somehow cleared midday was no easy feat, she really needed his absence to be kept a secret. This wouldn't be his first mission that he'd be instructed to maintain radio silence, the First Order had a habit of showing up wherever Poe Dameron and his squad went, so the less intercepted communications, the better for him. 

He smiled and nodded once, “I think you've got everything covered. The rest is up to me.”

The General nodded back. “Everything you'll need is already loaded on the X-wing. I don't need to tell you there's a lot of riding on this Dameron. I'm looking forward to your swift return.”

Poe gave her one last smirk before quickly crossing the room, BeeBee-Ate at his heels. 

“Dameron!” The General called out as he was about to open the door to leave. 

He turned around, happy to see the General smiling at him still. 

“May the Force be with you, Poe.”


	2. Chapter 2

Poe was woken by a low steady beeping coming from his console. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, attempting to rid himself of the drowsiness that accompanied long periods of space travel. He was slung low in his seat, his feet crossed one over the other on top of the X-Wing’s main flight console. He reached out and barely leaned forward to quiet the constant beeping, it was a cramped space to travel in. Especially this older X-Wing. Black One was much more comfortable. 

He checked the consoles screen, seeing that the beeping was alerting him that he had five minutes until he exited Hyperspace. He did his best to stretch in the confined space, and adjusted himself so that he was sitting properly again. 

“Alright BeeBee, you can get ready to turn off the autopilot,” said Poe, stifling another yawn. Sitting for ten straight hours in a small ship was more tiring than he remembered. 

“Breep-wrrrp!” BeeBee responded. 

“Nah, I’d like to fly in myself the rest of the way, wake up a little more.”

“Bleep-brooop?”

“Neither of us has had a lot to do so far, but I promise the return trip will be much shorter.” Poe rolled his eyes with a smile, pretty sure he was the only pilot who had to reassure his droid that it wouldn't be bored forever. 

Soon white blue lines started stretching around the cockpit, signaling the end of their Hyperspace trip. As the stars snapped back into place, Poe looked to his left at the large desert planet of Jakku. It was giant orange ball with only a few variances. He punched in his coordinates and began casually flying to the dark side of the planet, where he would hopefully find Lor San Tekka in one piece. The General was almost positive that the First Order hadn't gotten ahold of his location, but they could never be sure. 

As Poe flew through the planet's atmosphere he could see small pockets of lights that marked the small villages dotting this area. He wondered how so many could end up on such an inhospitable place, and was saddened by the knowledge that most couldn't get away even if they wanted to. The Galaxy could be a depressing place, no matter how much peace they tried to bring to it. 

It soon showed on his screen that he was nearly on top of his destination. A village labeled as Tuanul. He slowed his X-Wing and landed it a short walk behind an outcropping of rocks, outside one of the larger villages he had seen. 

Poe barely heard BeeBee essentially grumbling out his grievances with his landing choice. 

“BeeBee it's not that far, you'll roll just fine over the sand here,” Poe explained. “I promise to clean you out as soon as we get back to base.”

“Brop-rrrp-plett…”

“If you're going to have that kind of attitude you can wait in the X-Wing.”

“Wrroop-bloop!” 

Poe laughed as he exited his ship, lithely leaping down to the soft sand below, “Yeah yeah, don't worry so much BeeBee-Ate. Come on, let's go find our new friend.”

By the stars it's hot, he thought as wiped the sweat already forming on his brow, if it's this bad at night we've got to leave before the sun goes up. Poe slung a small bag over his shoulder and cautiously walked over and into the village. He had no visible weapons on him, but did have a blaster in his bag. He didn't expect trouble, and didn't want to invite any either. Walking into the light surrounding the area Poe saw a few curious aliens look his way, but none seemed suspicious or aggravated by his approach.

He went over to what appeared to be the center of Tuanul, where there was a few humans and humanoids gathered talking and laughing quietly. Poe greeted them politely, bowing his head in a gesture of peace and friendship. The villagers raised their eyebrows, looking at him like he was being ridiculous. Okay, he thought, that was a little too formal I guess. 

Recovering quickly he smiled brightly, “Good evening and excuse me for interrupting. I was hoping you could point me in the direction of Lor San Tekka?”

A young woman nodded her head towards a small hut on the edge of the village. “San Tekka is out over there. A lonely hermit, but a kind one also.” She looked Poe over. “You're not here to hurt our neighbor, yeah?”

Poe quickly shook his head, “No no, nothing like that. Just looking for an old friend.”

He thanked her and hurried over to the indicated hut, his heart thumping hard in his chest. He was actually here! Their intel was good and they had found him alive! 

Approaching the entrance, he saw there was no door, just a curtain of beaded rods partially veiling the view into the hut. Poe cleared his throat, “Hello? Lor San Tekka?”

There was moment inside, Poe could see shadows moving along the opposite wall. He took a step back as a hooded figure brushed aside his beaded curtain and stood tall, his face in shadows. 

He pulled back his hood and Poe instantly relaxed. He wasn't sure what to expect of the man who was considered a long time friend of Leia Organa, but under the hood was an older man, with kind eyes and a small smile. 

“It's been awhile since I've had a mysterious visitor,” Tekka spoke softly, but Poe could hear the power and wisdom clearly in his voice. “What brings you out to the vast wastelands of Jakku to find me?”

“Leia Organa sent me.” Poe replied simply. 

The old man's eyes widened, that wasn't the response he had been expecting. 

“If Leia has been looking for me, the situation must be urgent. Come, let's discuss this inside,” 

Poe quickly knelt down to his droid, “BeeBee, I need you to keep watch. If there's anything suspicious happening, come let me know.”

“Bleep boo!” The droid responded, hastily rolling away to the edge of the village. 

Poe ducked into the small hut, immediately grateful that it was much cooler in there. He took in the sparse room, it had a few ornamental decorations hanging from the ceiling, and behind the chair that Tekka sat on was a small stack of books that appeared to be ancient.

He sat down opposite of the man and leaned forward, speaking in a low tone, “San Tekka, my name is Poe Dameron. Leia has sent me all over the galaxy looking for you, and though pure chance, we've found you. We're hoping that you have some information that she desperately needs”

“I would do anything to help her and her family,” he responded. “In fact I've been traveling across the galaxy for the past eight years trying to find information that will help her. What does she need from me?”

“We need to find Luke Skywalker.”

Tekka’s shoulders slumped and he lowered his eyes. “Ever since Ben-” the name still hit Poe like blaster bolt to the gut. “-destroyed everything Luke had built, I've been searching for the Jedi Temple that he exiled himself too. Nearly eight years of searching with no answers to where he might be.”

Well that isn't a great response, Poe thought. If San Tekka couldn't find the temple, no one could. 

The old man sighed and reached behind his neck, unclasping one of the many necklaces he wore. Dangling on the end of it was a small bag that Tekka considered for a moment before handing it over to Poe. He covered Poe’s hand with both of his. 

This is it, Poe realized, this contains the location to Skywalker!

“This will begin to make things right,” Tekka spoke with a renewed hope in his voice. “I've traveled too far and seen too much to ignore the despair in the galaxy. Without the Jedi, there can be no balance in the Force.”

Poe felt relieved with his hand grasped around the leather sack, feeling something thin and hard inside. A memory core of sorts most likely. 

“We'll because of you now we have a chance,” Poe said confidently. “The Generals been after this for a long time.”

“The General,” Tekka repeated with a small laugh. “To me, she's royalty.”

Poe smiled, “Well she certainly is that.”

Just then BeeBee-Ate came tearing through the beaded entryway beeping and whirring frantically. 

Poe’s heart dropped. He must've been followed. He turned back to the old man, “We've got company.”

Poe grabbed his set of quadnoculars from his bag and rushed outside, quickly scanning the horizon. There they were, the First Order, it was unmistakeable. Poe lowered his quadnoculars, knowing deep down he was unsurprised things had taken such a bad turn. 

“You have to hide,” Poe said to San Tekka, still watching the incoming ships approaching faster. He knew exactly who they were after. 

“You have to leave!” Tekka said, still holding his ground. Poe looked back at him, unwilling to leave him unprotected. 

“Go!”

Poe nodded, understanding his sacrifice though he was still conflicted. He took off quickly, BeeBee-Ate close behind. If he could get to his X-Wing in time he could make the jump to hyperspace and the map to Luke would be safe!

He passed many villagers, some running to hide, most were taking up arms, ready to defend their own. Poe hated running from any fight, but he knew he was the last hope for getting this information to the General and keeping it out of the hands of the First Order. 

Behind him he heard blasters begin to fire. He was grateful he followed his intuition and landed his ship on the outskirts of the town, from this vantage point it was nearly completely hidden, giving him that extra protection that could save him. 

“Come on BeeBee-Ate, hurry!” Poe shouts as he climbs into his X-Wing. He soon hears the droid pop into place behind him as he's putting on his helmet and bringing the ship to life. As the landing lights flicker on he looks out the cockpit, and sees stormtroopers taking over the village. 

He flipped through the controls as quickly as he can, ignoring the fact that this older model should warm up before he takes off. Then BeeBee beeps wildly just as the ship is hit hard from behind, his hold body thrown forward with the impact. He's been spotted. 

“Bwlerp!” BeeBee beeps out a warning to Poe.

“I see ‘em,” he shouts as he lowers the X-Wings anti-personnel blaster, rapidly firing off two shots that take down the troopers instantly. Poe went right back to the ships start up sequence, but when he hit the last switch, the engine sputtered loudly. This can't be good. 

Poe threw open the cockpit’s canopy and jumped out after grabbing his blaster. Running around the ship he saw exactly where it was hit, directly on the back panel which was sparking and had caught fire. This really wasn't good, he thought, I've got a bad feeling about this. 

He looked back to the village, flame troopers were now setting the whole place on fire. Poe was running out of options. Thinking quickly he hit the controls to lower BeeBee out of the ship. Once down, Poe kneeled in front of him, digging the small device out of the bag Tekka had given him. 

“You take this,” Poe begins desperately, inserting the piece into the droids multireader. “It's safer with you than it is with me! You get as far away from here as you can! You hear me?” 

“Bepbroo?” BeeBee responded hesitantly. 

“I'll come back for you!” Poe promised, knowing he meant every word, he had no intention of leaving the map or his little friend behind. “It’ll be alright!” 

He gave the droid what he hoped was a reassuring nod before racing to the rocky outcropping that lined this side of the village. He threw himself down on the ground, trying to use the rocks as cover and to keep himself from becoming a target. 

He set his sights on an opening that troopers seemed to all be pouring through. He aimed for their necks, knowing it was the weakest point in their white armor. He breathed out, and fired. One down. Aimed again, fired. Two down. Aimed again, fired. Three down. 

He lined up his shot for the trooper behind his third hit, fired and missed. It looked like the trooper had knelt down to help his fallen comrade, which put him into cover. Poe quickly shook the thought out of his head. Stormtroopers weren't trained to save the fallen, even their own. In combat that were ordered only to fight and kill. 

He soon had taken down an even dozen troopers without his position being spotted. As he was readjusting himself for a better vantage point he heard the whir of engines that indicated that a new ship had joined the fray. Looking up he saw a black transport shuttle descending onto the battlefield. Immediately after landing, the crafts door opened and through the smoke and dust, Poe watches a dark, tall figure stride his way into the battle. His heart seems to stop in that moment. 

It's him. 

No no no, he thinks, of all the people he had to face and take down why did it have to be him?

Poe slowly rose to his feet as Kylo Ren crossed the chaos that was Tuanul. He would have to get a better angle if he was going to take this shot, he would only have one chance…

It was then that he realized that Lor San Tekka was standing in the middle of it all, flanked by two stormtroopers. Kylo was heading straight for him. Poe tried desperately to figure out a way to get the old man out of this, looking around for a distraction or a getaway ship. Poe could see Kylo and San Tekka talking, wishing he could hear what they were saying. 

Suddenly, Kylo’s erratic red lightsaber was ignited and he cut down San Tekka without any hesitation. Shocked, Poe wasted no time in bracing himself and aiming, he only hesitated for one split second, before his finger pulled back on the trigger. 

His shot would've hit its mark perfectly but Poe saw the blaster bolt frozen in midair before him. Then his body was suddenly gripped by an invisible force all around him, leaving him unable to move and completely helpless. 

He watched as two troopers ran over to him, one shoved his rifle into Poe’s stomach. He doubled over from the impact, and before he could recover from the cheap shot they had his blaster out of his hands and they were practically dragging him over to Kylo. 

Even though he was being lead to what was most likely his death, he couldn't help but look back at the blaster bolt that was still frozen, hanging unstable in the air. When did he become this powerful, Poe wondered, impressed and a bit fearful all at once. 

Then he was brought before Kylo Ren, clad in black, heavy robes, wearing his mask that seemed resembled something dead in Poe's mind. He shrugged his arms out of the troopers grips, attempting to maintain some sort of dignity before Kylo took him out. Poe only prayed to the Stars that Kylo wouldn't recognize him. 

Just as Poe stood straight the trooper behind him kicked him, forcing him to his knees. Yup, this is exactly where I wanted to be, he thought sarcastically to himself, on my knees in front of him again… 

He watched as Kylo looked down at him, then dropped down to his level. Poe kept his face blank as the man behind the mask considered him. Then Kylo’s head cocked to one side. He knows, Poe thought, I don't know how but he knows!

“So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?” Poe started rambling. If he was going out he wasn't going to go quietly. 

“The old man gave it to you,” Kylo spoke calmly and assuredly, voice distorted from the mask. 

“It's just very hard to understand you with all the-” Poe tried making hand gestures, unable to figure out the word he wanted to use. 

“Search him.” Kylo commanded his troopers. 

“The apparatus!” Poe added, finding the right words as the troopers roughly pulled Poe to his feet. 

As the troopers searched him he avoided making eye contact with Kylo. Maybe he didn't recognize him, but only knew that he has the map. Well, had the map, now very glad that he had given it to his droid before joining the battle. 

“Nothing, sir.” One of troopers informed. 

“Put him on board,” Kylo responded indifferently. 

Now I'm in real trouble, Poe though as the troopers began escorting him to one of the transports. He passed a chrome-clad trooper that towered over him: Phasma. Notorious and deadly, he was surprised that now two high ranking individuals had come here. 

“Sir,” Poe could just barely hear Phasma’s metallic voice behind him. “The villagers?” 

Then Kylo’s uncaring response. “Kill them all.”

“No!” Poe shouted back over his shoulder as the stormtroopers carried out their orders, taking down every man woman and child that they had herded together. When the villagers were out of his view Poe could still hear their screams. The shots from the blaster were not enough to drown out the terror that was taking place. 

I did this, Poe thought as the screams slowly became less and less audible, this is my fault, I could've done better. I should've done better. 

And he could only sit there, handcuffed in the shuttle, haunted by the slaughter as each voice was swiftly put out one by one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter has a ton from the movie but I promise the next few will have new stuff :3
> 
> Let me know what you think, this being the second fic in writing I'd really love to hear from the readers <3


	3. Chapter 3

After the only sounds that could be heard from outside the shuttle was the crackling of the flames, stormtroopers immediately start filling back in. The transport was not even halfway filled when it began to take off. At least I took out a decent number, he thought smiling bitterly to himself, me and the villagers did.

It was a rough ride in the transport, there was no handholds for Poe and being in handcuffs didn't help him to balance much. Poe did his best to keep his balanced in the poorly flown transport so he could avoid falling on his face and needing the troopers to help him up. He admitted to himself that it was a little unnerving being in the small space with twelve other people and not one of them looking at or acknowledging him. Resisting the urge to just start talking to break the silence, Poe attempted to clear his mind of the information of where he had hid the map. He had heard too many rumors of Kylo's newfound abilities, and if they were true, breaking into a person's mind was one of the more powerful talents he had learned. 

Poe closed his eyes and sighed. He was grateful for the chance to live at least through the night, but he wasn't sure if what he might soon face would be preferable to being taken out quickly. 

He felt the ship start to slow then land. Poe steeled himself, ready for whatever would be there on the other side of the shuttles doors when they opened. He was resolved to keep his hopes up, that maybe wherever they were he could find a way to escape. That and he had to keep his promise to his little round buddy still stuck on Jakku. He'd be an absolute monster if he left BeeBee on that giant sand trap. 

The shuttle doors hissed open and the stormtroopers in from of him quickly filed out. He was grabbed roughly by the troopers flanking him and basically shoved down the ramp. 

“Alright, alright!” He said annoyed by the troopers excessive force. Once on level ground Poe was awestruck by the immense size of the hangar he found himself in. I think I might be in the Finalizer. He was surrounds by numerous troopers, and an intimidating amount of TIE Fighters lined the walls. I'm inside the Finalizer, Poe concluded. He had never seen the interior of a Star Destroyer of this size and was honestly too impressed to be angry for a moment. 

If this is only one hangar of the Finalizer, Poe thought worriedly as he was pulled out of the area, then the Resistance is more outnumbered than we thought. Though he was being rushed down the hallways Poe did his best to take in all the information about the place that he could. Then he remembered that he wasn't going to make it out of this situation. The General had discussed doing an undercover mission onto the Finalizer, never making definite plans, but her only choice for carrying out the mission would've been him. He was pretty sure they never got far enough in the planning to discuss how he should save himself. 

“In here!” The trooper on his right shouted at him, not giving him the chance to look at where the trooper indicated before he was shoved into a long cold room with a single upright chair restraint near the center. Guess this is my new home, Poe thought grimly as he was set in the chair, hands and ankles uncomfortably shackled to the frame. 

When the stormtroopers moved away from Poe, a black droid hovered towards him from the shadows. He froze in his seat, recognizing the interrogation droid in front of him. They had been banned by the New Republic since the fall of the empire, but this was just another rule that the First Order had no problem ignoring. 

Quicker than Poe could process the droid was suddenly sending waves of paralyzingly electricity through his body. As much as it hurt he couldn't even scream as his body was beyond obeying him. In another second it was over, Poe slumped in his restraints struggling to breath. Then he was being electrocuted again, his skin feeling as if it was on fire, and his body convulsing against the back of the chair. And again the pain was turned off. 

“Where's the map?” The trooper demanded, throwing a punch into Poe's gut. 

“What map?” Poe replied, managing to smirk at the trooper. “Are you lost or-” 

He was silenced by another round of torture from the droid. His fingers dug at the metal beneath them, trying to ground himself to anything to stop him from feeling that his body was about to explode. Once again the pain stopped as quickly as it had started, Poe now couldn't stop his hands from trembling. 

“Tell us where the map is!” The trooper yelled, hitting him across the face. He was positive his cheek had been cut open. There goes my chance of dying pretty, he thought, surprisingly upset at that. He couldn't believe they were denying him his good looks in his last moments. 

“I don't know where your map is,” Poe replied stubbornly. “but if you tell me where you're trying to get to maybe I could fly ya there-”

Another hit to the face. 

“-I am a pretty decent pilot-”

More electrocution. 

“-and I'd love to try piloting a Star Destroyer-”

Then a blow to the back of his head, thinking it had to have been the second trooper using the butt of his gun. This isn't working, he thought as he internally laughed sadly at himself, I'm running out of comebacks for these guys. 

The first trooper grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him forward in the chair. “Listen you worthless piece of shit, we’re not playing your games! Tell us where the map now!” 

He was hit again and again, the trooper pelting his stomach and sides. Poe felt his muscles cramping from the effort of them seizing up against the armored fists. Even though he was mostly successful at not letting out more than a grunt in pain, he couldn't help but cry out when one of his ribs broke under the troopers knuckles. 

The trooper laughed darkly at that. “I see we're finally getting somewhere with you, you scum.”

Poe made an obvious attempt at trying to free his hands from their restraints. “Sorry buddy, but it doesn't look like I'm going anywhere-” then BAM!The trooper hit him in the jaw before he could finish. 

He tried moving it around, relieved it hadn't been broken. “Not too bad for a bucket head.” He taunted, “at least you didn't miss me!”

This time the trooper hit him with his gun on the side of his head. Poe could feel his skin tear open, the chill air stinging the fresh wound. 

“I guess I deserved that one,” Poe winked at the trooper, resulting in a back hand to the face, further opening up the cut that he had already made there. 

“Alright, come on now,” Poe said through gritted teeth, that last one did actually hurt. “There really isn't any need to damage the face anym-”

He was cut off again by three quick jabs, splitting open his lip and his forehead. Kriff, I'm really not doing myself any favors, he thought as he tasted blood in his mouth. 

“The map!” The stormtroopers shouted at him, grabbing him by the front of his jacket and shaking him harshly, causing the back of his head to hit the back of the metal restraint. For a second he saw stars dance in front of his eyes, and there was now a ringing in his ears. 

“Tell me what you did with that map!” The trooper punctuated every word with a hit to his face. Blood was now obstructing the vision in his right eye, and flowing steadily from his twice split lip. He breathed heavily, knowing that he needed to give them an answer now. 

“Okay, alright,” Poe conceded, lowering his eyes and bowing his head. “I'll tell you the truth,” his voice straining, barely a whisper. 

The trooper grabbed Poe's hair and forced his head up, his masked face just inches from his, “Talk!”

“A moment ago I said that I was a decent pilot, and that was lie,” Poe began to confess. “Truth is,” he paused, putting on his most infuriating smirk, “I’m the best pilot the the galaxy has got.”

Poe wished he could see the troopers face, it must've looked incredibly beneath the mask as he slowly realized what Poe said. 

Before the trooper could respond Poe gave him a weak wink, and that was his limit. The trooper yelled in frustration and swung at Poe, uppercutting his jaw. 

Poe's head spun and his vision quickly darkened as he blacked out. 

……. 

Poe stood there, rooted to the spot as Ben stormed out of his room. Once he was gone Poe shook his head slowly, attempting to think clearly.

Kriff, what have I done? He looked down at his hands, he could see the blood drying under his nails. Then the gravity of the situation hit him in full. Regardless of Ben's lies, I should not have done that… why did I hurt him like that? Why did I do any of that?

He was still staring at his hands, trying to remember his thought process, and when exactly he made those decisions. Panic began to rise within him as he couldn't recall consciously wanting to take Ben like that. Ben asked me, he thought, Ben wanted me, and did my urges just take over? When did I even have urges like that?!

He clenched his fists together. I need to find Ben! Poe quickly threw his shirt on, slipped his feet into his boots and bolted out the door. He looked down both hallways that lead to his door, and no sign of Ben. He decided to try Ben's room first. As he hurried through the base, Poe hoped there would be some way to salvage what they had. Yes, Poe was upset, furious even, at Ben's blatant lie, but he knew he'd forgive Ben!

I wasn't going to end this! I have to tell that to Ben!

Poe skidded to a stop outside of Ben's room, banging on the door, not caring about how late it was and if anyone else on the base heard him. 

“Ben please!” He begged, “let me in I'm sorry! I didn't want things like this! Please just listen to me!”

He rested his forehead on the cold metal of the door and waited. Silence. There wasn't any sound coming from the room at all, let alone a response to Poe’s pleas. He opened the door, needing to know if Ben was even in there. 

Poe stepped into the dark room and looked around the sparse room. Empty. 

He quickly left the room, the memories of their first night together in there were causing him more mental turmoil. How could've things got screwed up this quickly? It seemed like a lifetime ago that Ben had first kissed him, right in that doorframe, not just the few days that had passed. 

Where did he go? How am I supposed to find him? Poe thought desperately. The Resistance base was an old clone war era barrack and weapon storage facility, originally meant to hold over four thousand troops. The Resistance didn't need a quarter of the space, but it was a secure and hidden location. Poe’s main problem was searching the entire place for one person. One person that he didn't know as well as he had wanted to. 

Yes, Poe had been attracted to Ben almost immediately since joining the Resistance, but he had always kept his distance out of respect for the General, putting the kid out of his mind to focus on his work. So he really didn't know where Ben would spend his free time if he wasn't in his room. 

Maybe the clearing by the ocean, Poe considered, where he goes to meditate. And to be alone. 

Poe doubled back and made his way to the outer walls of the base. When he walked through the door leading outside, he was surprised to see that the sun had already begun to peek over the horizon. Had the night really passed that quickly?

Taking his time, poe made his way towards the clearing, trying to piece together what he'd say to Ben when he found him. He knew he couldn't just dismiss Ben's behavior, that wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted to be in. But Poe also didn't want to set him off again. 

And what was with that sudden switch? Poe thought. One moment he was in control, then it's like one word from me just broke him. Another thing we'll have to work on I guess. 

And there's the issue with my actions to consider as well…

Poe didn't mind having an active sexual relationship if that's really what Ben wanted too. He also didn't mind when things got a little rough in bed, but, what Poe did to Ben, well, Poe had never imagined in his crazier fantasies of doing something like that. Especially not to someone as inexperienced as Ben. Poe could've really hurt him. He hoped Ben would give him the chance to explain himself, after Poe figured out to explain what happened.

When Poe came upon the clearing that he had once found Ben in, he found it was empty. No sign of him at all. Feeling hopeless and exhausted, Poe fell heavily onto his knees. He had no idea where to go or where to find his Heartbreaker. 

Poe didn't know for how long he sat there, his head throbbing and body questionably sore. He knew he should move and try to find Ben to fix everything between them, but he couldn't bring himself to stand. 

The hurt that was on Ben's face before he turned away from him was haunting Poe. Ben may have been yelling and sounding angry, but Poe could see the true pain in his eyes at being rejected by him. Poe never wanted to cause that kind of pain, not in someone that he had come to care so deeply for. He'd never forgive himself if he couldn't work everything out with Ben...

Eventually the heat from the morning sun motivated Poe to move. Ben wasn't coming out here, so he might as well check the base. 

He was nearly to the door that would lead him back inside the base when he heard the sounds of a ship leaving the hangar. The casually checked over head to see who might be leaving on patrol that morning when he recognized the shuttle that Luke Skywalker had arrived in, now departing the base. He watched it slowly gain height and speed, and it flew out of his view before he realized what the ship's departure meant. 

No. 

No no no no no no!

“Ben,” he whispered, wanting to scream his name but knowing it would do no good. 

Without wasting another second he turned and ran inside the base, racing toward the hangar. If I can just get to my X-Wing, I can hail them before they leave the planet, he thought quickly, I can fly up to them before they make the jump to hyperspace! I can catch them before he leaves!

As Poe rounded the corner into the hangar he sprinted the remaining distance to Black One, sitting on the far end. He barely notice the people that were already in the hangar, staring as he sped desperately past them. 

When Poe approached the X-Wing, his white and orange droid came rolling over to him, beeping worriedly about his current state and obvious distress. 

“Not now BeeBee-” he shouted at his droid as he pulled himself into the cockpit. He grabbed his comm and began to try and hail the leaving ship. 

“Skywalker this is Dameron of Black Squadron, do you read me?”

Silence. 

“Skywalker! This is Poe Dameron, from the Resistance base I repeat do you read me?!”

Nothing. 

“Ben!” He shouted into the comm, his voice catching. “Ben please are you there?!”

And only the static of the open line came from the small comm speaker. 

He dropped his comm and buried his face in his hands. He was too late. Ben was beyond his reach and would not be returning. That was it. Poe had failed. 

After a moment he realized he needed to go. He could hear his fellow pilots voices approaching, probably worried after seeing his dramatic entrance. He hastily dropped down from the cockpit and made straight for exit closest to him. 

He checked over his shoulder to see his droid following cautiously behind him. Further back he could see a few members of his own squadron craning their necks to see if they could see what was up with their commander. 

Then Poe stopped and turned halfway around. Behind them was the General, arms crossed and staring at him. She was too far away to make out her features or the expression on her face. but her gaze could only mean the worst. Poe picked up his pace, leaving the hangar but still feeling the Generals stare. He didn't think he'd ever escape...

……….

Poe breathed in sharply, stirred from his nightmares and memories by the pain in his broken rib. 

There's a day I'd like to forget, he thought sadly to himself. He was regularly haunted by the day Ben left. When Poe had broken him down and caused him to run away. And when Ben began his journey down to the dark side, changing his name and the person he had once been. The last time Poe had seen him without that mask he hid behind now. 

Poe kept his eyes closed, hoping the troopers hadn't notice that he was awake. He could use a break from being their punching bag. At least the bleeding has stopped, Poe thought, still exhausted. 

Then, breaking the absolute silence of the room, Poe heard that unmistakable cold, robotic voice.

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little flashback feels before the real torture begins~~~


	4. Chapter 4

Poe slowly opened his eyes, and considered the masked figure standing at a distance in front of him. _This isn't Ben anymore_ , he told himself as he sat forward in the restraints, gaining the confidence that he'd need to withstand whatever he was put through.

“Comfortable?” The uncaring voice asked.

“Not really.” Poe replied bluntly.

“I'm impressed,” Kylo began as he stalked closer to Poe. “No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.”

Poe stared unflinching at his captor. “You might wanna rethink your technique.”

Kylo stretched out his arm, his gloved hand inches from Poe's face. For one second, nothing. Then pain began to suddenly tear its way into Poe's mind. It was a hurt unlike anything Poe had experienced. It felt like claws digging and tearing into his thoughts, an agony that he could not stop. His head was slammed against the back of the restraint, he could hear his breathing becoming labored but could only focus on the anguish scratching its way deeper into him.

Poe tried to fight back, only managing to grunt out in pain. He attempted to pull himself forward, but the invisible force from Kylo was holding him in place, feeling as if a giant hand was trying to crush him against his seat.

“Where is it?!” Kylo demanded.

It was the first bit of emotion he had heard through the mask. _Kylo's losing his patience_ , Poe thought, _maybe I can use that?_

“The Resistance will not be intimidated by you,” Poe managed to challenge him through the pain. He meant every word, knowing that his honesty would push Kylo closer to the edge, hopefully causing him to lose his focus.

He felt himself being slowly pulled forward, and a new level of agony was threatening to break him from within.

“Where is it?!”

Poe shook his head, he would not give in. The mental clawing became more intense, he could feel Kylo going through his mind like it was a book, just ripping through each page that didn't contain what he wanted.

Suddenly Kylo's frustration became apparent when he suddenly was just causing Poe pain. Poe could barely feel him still looking in his mind, but was now determined to set Poe's insides on fire. The pain was an all consuming agony, an inescapable torture without any end in sight.  
  
Against his will, Poe began to yell in pain. He couldn't help it, his screams escaping him as his body and mind felt like they were on the verge of collapsing in on themselves.

Then it stopped. Poe was slumped forward in his restraints, his body shaking in the wake of the pain it just endured.

“That was only a taste,” Kylo began. “only a small touch of what I can do to you if you don't give me what I want.”

_The map is still safe_ , Poe thought relieved. _I need to keep him distracted._

“I'm a little disappointed that you'd hold back on me after all these years,” Poe whispered.

Kylo cocked his head to Poe's response.

“I would've thought you'd want to give me your best,” Poe teased, now talking out of desperation. “Didn't you miss me?”

_That shut him up,_ Poe thought, mildly satisfied while Kylo stood there in silence.

“I'm surprised that you would willing speak of our connected past,” Poe could barely hear him, Kylo’s whispered voice was so distorted by the mask.

“Ah, so you do miss our connection then-” Poe was cut off by another mental attack from Kylo.

“I do not miss your arrogance, pilot.” Kylo spit out as he continued to send the sharp dagger-like pain into Poe's mind.

Poe growled through the pain, “Then what do you miss?”

Without warning the restraints on his wrists and ankles were opened and Poe found himself on the ground, barely holding himself up on his elbows and knees. A tremor still ran through his body after Kylo's attack. Poe was determined to not let him see his pain and he glared up at Kylo from the ground.

“I do miss this,” Poe could hear a change in Kylo's voice, it seemed more aggressive, more predatory. “Seeing you on your knees.”

Poe's eyes briefly widened as he comprehended what Kylo meant. Then he watched in disbelief as Kylo inched his gloved hand under his robe and moved to unbuckled his belt.

“Don't you even-” Poe started to protest before he felt an unseen vice close around his throat. He was clawing at his own skin as he was being forced off floor and back onto his knees.

Poe was hit with a moment of Deja Vu as Kylo's fingers painfully took hold of his chin, forcing him to look into the glossy black lens where Kylo's eyes should be.

“You will gladly take whatever I give you, pilot.” Kylo said in a sickly sweet tone that made Poe's stomach turn.

“Fuck you!” Poe managed to choke out as Kylo still mentally held his grip around his throat.

Kylo chuckled softly. “If that's what you want to do, I’m afraid you'll have to ask much nicer than that.”

Once Kylo removed his hand and began to undo his belt, Poe struggled as much as he could against Kylo's Force grip that held him in place. Then Poe felt his arms move unwilling to his sides, and was unable to move any part of his body except for his eyes, which he still glared fiercely at Kylo.

Kylo stepped closer to him, one hand holding his black pants up, the other he ran slowly through Poe's hair. Poe bared his teeth and hissed as the gloved hand pulled through the blood-matted hair.

“I know you still want this,” Kylo whispered. “I can feel it. That's why you've been alone all these years, hasn't it, pilot? You can't get me out of your head, can you?”

Poe's eyes narrowed, “You won't do this,” he challenged.

Kylo sighed.

Poe thought he heard a touch of affection in his sigh through the mask.

“I have missed you.” Kylo simply stated as his hand tightened painfully around Poe's curls. His other hand pulled back the front of his robes and dropped his pants just enough to expose his already hard cock. Poe attempted to pull away, but Kylo pushed head back, forcing his mouth open and then rammed himself down Poe's throat.

He immediately gagged, tears stinging his eyes. Kylo was relentless, quickly pulling out and thrusting his full length in over and over, obviously taking pleasure in Poe's choking.

Poe was still fighting against his invisible bonds, finding it harder to concentrate on escape while Kylo's dick was continuously preventing him from breathing properly. Plus his scalp was practically being removed from his skull as Kylo's grip on his hair pulled tighter and tighter.

Trying to prevent causing himself more pain, Poe tried relaxing his body. Gaining some sort of control over himself, Poe was no longer felt like he was suffocating on Kylo's imposing erection. He was resolved to endure through this, no matter the cost, so he could protect the information on the maps location. _I won't let the Resistance down_ , he promised himself.

With his eyes closed Poe attempted to block out his assault. He wanted to ignore the hard cock that was Fucking his mouth, sliding over his tongue in a steady rhythm. He would not think about the black robes that brushed against his face with every thrust, robes that almost smelled of the young man Kylo used to be. He wouldn't dwell on Kylo's hand, that after releasing his hair he had moved to gently caress the underside of Poe's jaw. Why was he leaning into Kylo's touch? _I don’t want this_ , Poe repeated to himself. _I couldn't want this._

“Don't lie to yourself pilot,” Kylo said as he pulled his wet cock agonizingly slow from Poe's lips. “Even after all this time it's so easy to get back inside your head. I know what you want. I know what you are.”

Kylo raised Poe's face up to look at him again. “I always knew you'd come back to me, my pilot.”

“Get out of my head,” Poe snarled, unable to completely deny what Kylo was saying. “and fucking stop this.”

Grabbing the front of his jacket, Kylo raised Poe to his feet, then suddenly threw him into wall. He hit the wall with his side, his cracked rib sending a wave of pain through him. Before he could recover Kylo was right there, taking a hold of his neck and shoving him face first against the freezing steel.

“Nothing is going to stop, pilot.” Kylo hissed in his ear, the dead mechanical voice of his helmet sent chills down Poe's spine. “You're mine, and you're never leaving! I think,” Kylo paused, running a finger forcefully down Poe's already beaten face, “I'm going to make you hurt, just for a little while. I'm going to make you beg for me to stop.” Then Kylo's hand was snaked around his waist, gloved hand quickly undoing the front of Poe's pants.

“You'll never get that satisfaction,” Poe replied boldly. “Not from me…Ben.”

Poe heard Kylo's sharp intake of breath from the sound of his real name being used. And in that second of shock Poe could literally feel the invisible bonds of the Force lift away from his body and mind. _This is my chance!_

With all the strength he currently possessed, Poe turned and hit Kylo square on his helmet with his elbow, causing the taller man to stumble. With his head thrown backwards from the impact, Kylo's black helmet came loose and crashed loudly on the metal floor. Poe tried to make a break for the door but Kylo moved impossibly fast and caught him by the collar of his jacket.

Kylo turned him around and backhanded him, setting Poe off balance. Before he could stand straight he was backhanded again, which sent him colliding back against the wall.

“You'll pay for that, pilot!” Kylo threatened, his voice shaking with anger.

Poe could only stare at his face. He could see how the dark side had hardened his appearance over the past decade. Long, wavy black hair now framed his pale face. The once delicate angles were now severe, harsh lines that seemed to only accentuate his unstable emotions. His eyes that used to be warm and deep were now turned dark and full of hate. His very being radiated raw power and uncontrollable rage.

He was one of the most beautiful and terrible creatures Poe had ever seen.

There was a splash of blood on his upper lip, a result from the impact of his helmet to his nose after Poe's attack. Kylo took off one glove and wiped it away. He looked at the fresh blood on his fingers and a cruel smile slowly appeared on his face.

“You always did like making me bleed, didn't you, pilot?” Kylo whispered, his eyes now looking at Poe from beneath his brow.

Then Kylo was practically on top of him, his long fingers wrapping tightly around Poe’s neck.

“I want you to suffer, pilot,” Kylo purred, his lips almost brushing against Poe's. “just like you made me suffer”

“I didn't want to hurt you-I never did!” Poe gasped, the truth spilling from his lips unintentionally . “I-I tried finding you that night, after you ran, but you were gone! I looked everywhere I could think! I wanted you back!”

Poe could see Kylo's doubt in his eyes.

“You've got to believe me!” Poe pleaded. “I hated what I did that night-and I'd go back if I could to stop myself! Just come back, and we'll figure this out again. You can have me, we can work all this out together! Isn't that what you wanted?”

Kylo's grip was loosening on Poe's neck.

“Come home with me,” Poe whispered, softly grasping one of Kylo's wrists. “Just stay with me. I'll fix this, Ben.”

“Don't call me that!” He yelled and he took a step back and backhanded Poe again with his one still gloved hand. “Don't you know who I am now?”

Poe tasted blood, his lips must've split open again. He looked Kylo in the eyes, and sighed sadly, “Without that mask, you'll always be Ben to me.”

He could practically see something within Kylo snap, and Poe knew he had pushed him too far. Kylo barred his teeth and let out a primal snarl as he stepped forward and turned Poe so he was pinned again face first against the metal wall. Poe felt the pressure of the Force practically crushing him in place, making it hard to even breath.

“It's time your learned who I really am, pilot!” Kylo growled in his ear, his hands finished undoing Poe's pants. Poe gasped as he felt Kylo's hands slide down his thighs, the one without the glove was unnaturally cold as it slid against Poe's heated skin.

How is this happening? Poe thought, panicking as his pants slid down to his knees, Kylo's hands now gripping the back of his thighs painfully. His fear spiked when he felt that cold hand spread his legs apart. Then the sharp dagger-like pain was back in his head, now pouring desire, hunger, need, lust into Poe's head. He tried blocking everything out, he didn't want know what pain was happening to him anymore.

“Oh you do want this, pilot.” Kylo responded to Poe's thoughts. The dagger of pain in his mind was growing sharper, he could feel Kylo twisting his thoughts, he wanted Poe to want him.

“Tell me you need this,” Kylo crooned, his gloved hand working in slow circles around around Poe's groin.

“No!” Poe shouted, trying with everything he had to fight Kylo's mental attack, the urge to give into Kylo was growing every second. “Get out of my head!”

Poe felt Kylo's hand slide backup his thighs, fingers pressing in between his ass.

“I know you want this,” Kylo spoke low, his deep voice suddenly making Poe hard. “You need it. Tell me you need it.”

_No_! Poe scream in his head.

“Y-yes!” He heard himself gasp.

_Why am I giving in?_ Poe desperately thought. _I can't give up without trying to fight!_

“It wouldn't be any fun if you didn't fight back,” Kylo's replied to his thoughts again, as he pushed a finger inside Poe while also twisting the dagger inside his mind.

Poe yelled in defiance. Needing Kylo to stop and needing him to continue. He felt like his mind was being ripped in half, he wasn't sure what was his own wants anymore.

“You don't want this to stop,” Kylo stated. “You've wanted this ever since I left.”

_Stop this!_ He thought, but at the same time sighed, “Yes!”

Kylo was ruffling through Poe's memories, of Poe sitting by himself wishing Ben would return, for Ben to just contact him. All the years that Poe spent alone, not wanting to be with anyone but Ben. Poe dreaming of the moment when Ben did return to him, of what their reunion could be-

“Stop!” Poe screamed, tears stinging his eyes, the hurt from those memories still stung too deep, they threaten to turn Poe over to Kylo's mind completely. “Get out of my head!”

“I'll always be in your head, pilot!” Kylo retorted as he stuck another finger ungraciously into Poe.

Poe tightly closed his eyes trying in vain to block out Kylo's connections his mind. His physical discomfort was nothing in comparison to the intimacy of their two minds together. Poe's mind was nearly helpless against Kylo's intense need, slowly convincing Poe to break down and give himself to him.

Poe felt Kylo slowly pull his fingers out of him, his body betraying his mind by wanting more. Then Kylo's gloved hand was combing through his hair again, his lips on Poe's neck. He kissed him so gently, so sweetly, Poe was nearly completely pulled into the illusion.

“Do you remember what you said to me that last night, when our positions were reversed?” Kylo whispered on Poe's neck.

“I said a lot of things,” Poe breathed, trying not to focus on shivers Kylo's lips were sending down his spine, he was now so tempted to give into Kylo.

“You said sorry,” Kylo bite down softly at the tender skin, “and that this was going to hurt.”

The memory of Poe's temporary craze when he had completely took over Ben came rushing back. That memory of what he did haunted him, as he felt that he had taken advantage of Ben that night.

“And now I'm about to take advantage of you, not that you'll be completely unhappy about that I'm sure,” Kylo said softly as he kissed Poe's neck once more, before he shoved his erection fully into Poe, rough and unhesitant.

Poe cried out in pain and unwanted pleasure. His mind was in utter turmoil, the hate conflicting with want, his anger at war with lust; Poe wanted it to end but also hoped it never would. The pain in his mind was mixed with the pleasure of Kylo inside him.

Poe could barely protest, even in his head. For every 'no' he wanted to scream he heard himself yelling for Kylo to give him more. When he felt that Kylo was no longer using the Force to hold him physically against the wall, instead of trying to flee like he should, Poe instead moved himself into a more enjoyable position.

_Why am I not stopping this?_ He thought fearfully as Kylo grabbed Poe's now hard cock tightly, pumping it in time with his thrusts. _Fuck why does this feel so good_ , he wondered while moaning at Kylo's grip. _I should hate this, I want to hate this but, kriff,I just want more!_

“You want more?” Kylo panted tantalizingly from behind Poe. “I want you to beg for it!”

Poe shook his head, unwilling to sink that low.

Kylo stopped his hips, now unmoving inside of him. Poe whimpered involuntarily when Kylo let go of his erection.

“Beg, pilot.” Kylo demanded. Poe heard him speak it and heard him in his head.

“No!” Poe retorted weakly, his body wanting more.

“You want me to stop then?”

“No!” He heard himself shout. “Please! Please just fuck me I need it!” _Did I really say that? Have I completely lost my mind?!_

Kylo began moving again, agonizingly slow. “Only if you really want it, my pilot.

I don't! “I do yes please don't stop!”

Poe could almost see Kylo's twisted smile in his head as he started to fuck him mercilessly. Poe them started jerking himself, needing the climax, and wanting the end. He hated the way he enjoyed how hard Kylo was gripping his hip, hard enough that he was sure it would bruise. Poe couldn't stand the satisfaction he got from Kylo's fingers pulling his hair. He absolutely loathed himself for loving the feeling of Kylo inside of him. Poe was disgusted with himself and somehow had to stop this.

The pressure built up and became too much. Poe came hard with a deep groan of pleasure. His climax triggered Kylo's as well, who pulled Poe's hair painfully hard and grunted a sigh of what Poe thought was was relief.

The stood like that for a moment, shame bubbling up inside of Poe. The urge to run stopped by the hopeless of his situation. He was stuck here with his demon and his own sick needs. He tried not to break down, not wanting Kylo to see how weak he truly was. When he felt Kylo step back from him, he quickly took the chance to pull his pants back in place, trying to regain a small bit of his dignity.

“Back in the restraints, pilot.” Kylo ordered.

Poe felt himself walking toward the upright chair, not remembering actually willing himself to do so. As he leaned back the restraints around his wrists and ankles clicked nearly back into place, as if he had never left.

Kylo approached him, and stroked his face delicately. “We will have all the time in the galaxy to work this out, my pilot.”

Poe couldn't bring himself to look into his dark eyes. His revulsion was rising within him, disgusted with himself and what Kylo forced him to do, and what he ended up wanting to do.

After a moment Kylo put his helmet back on, hiding his angled features. Poe was relieved to not have to see him staring at him like a prize he had won anymore.

“I do need one last confession from you,” the mechanical voice stated. “Where is the map?”

Immediately Kylo started clawing again through his already torn mind. Poe screamed in agony, the renewed mental torture more painful than anything he had yet suffered through. Kylo continued his brutal invasion, until too soon the one memory Poe had sacrificed so much to protect came to the front of his mind.

“Ah, I see,” Poe could hear the smugness even through the mask. “So tell me, pilot, who did you give the map to?”

_Maybe he couldn't see the whole memory?_ Poe thought, desperately clinging onto that last hope.

“Don't continue to delude yourself pilot,” Kylo said bluntly as he racked deeper through Poe mind, making him writhe under his shackles. “I can see everything, I now know everything. You've betrayed your pathetic Resistance with your weak mind. There's no point in fighting against me anymore.”

Kylo brought his masked face just inches away from Poe's, “I want to hear you say it: Who did you give the map to?”

Poe bit his lip, the pain driving his to spill his secrets. He was forced to look into the masks eye lens, Kylo's dark Force powers setting his insides ablaze. _Please_ , he thought, _please don't say it._

Another spike of pain, Poe cried out a long incomprehensible scream.

“Who did you give the map to!” Kylo demanded.

“BeeBee-Ate!” Poe screamed, every ounce of willpower had been mentally drained from him as he had felt the name being ripped from his lips. He heard his voice catch on the name of his droid.

“Thank you for your cooperation, pilot.” Kylo said smugly. “I need to alert my troopers to this information, but I promise I will return.”

Poe looked at Kylo questioningly, whispering, “What else do you want from me?”

“Everything.” Kylo stated as he stroked a gloved finger down Poe's chest. “You'll give me all the information you possess on the Resistance and then,” Kylo's fingers paused on Poe's belt, lightly tugging at it. “you will give me yourself. I've had my other pet over the years that kept me mildly satisfied, but not with as much spirit and fight as you.”

Poe looked defiantly into Kylo’s masked eyes once more before Kylo swiftly exited the room.

It only took a second after the door closed for the sterile silence to settle once again in the room. Now alone with only his thoughts, he could feel himself beginning to fall apart, knowing that he had betrayed everything and everyone he had promised to protect. He had been willing to give up his life to keep this information from the First Order. And what had he done? He let himself fall prey to Kylo's Force tricks, and had been too weak to fully resist the urges Kylo had awoken within his mind and body.

_I should've died fighting on Jakku,_ Poe thought to himself, _I wish I would have died_. A sob escaped his lips, the weight of his failure comsuming and breaking him.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

While his mind and body slowly began to shut down from the lingering ache of his torture and the exhaustion from fighting, Poe kept his eyes closed as a trooper came in to stand guard next to him. _Where do they think I'm gunna go?_ Poe thought weakly. _It's not like I'm in the best shape to make a mad dash for the door, fight off a thousand troopers, and take over the star destroyer…_

Poe only had a few precious minutes of uneasy rest before he heard the door to his cell slide open and the unmistakable sound of stormtrooper armor entering the room. He kept his eyes closed, no need to to see the white and black mask that would not doubt be starting a new round of horror on him.

“Ren wants the prisoner.” Poe heard the new trooper addressing his guard.

_Well,_ he thought sarcastically, I wasn't wrong. _He's just escorting me to my torturer. How nice._

As his restraints were released, Poe lazily opened his eyes and regarded the trooper that would be leading him to Kylo. _Just another buckethead, nothing to get excited about here._

Poe stood obediently still as he was cuffed, the fight gone from him. His mind was still in turmoil over letting everyone in the Resistance down. It hasn't taken him long to realize that by failing the Resistance, he'd failed the galaxy. When the First Order got ahold of that map, they would swiftly take out Skywalker, leaving the galaxy without any light side Force users, dooming them all the an era of Sith. The guilt was slowly suffocating him. Only the smallest glimmer of hope was left deep within him, somehow, maybe, BB-8 would elude the First Order.

He sighed as he was dragged out of the room, the trooper holding a blaster to his chest. Normally optimistic, Poe didn't see how his little friend, stuck on Jakku, could keep himself out of the enemy's hands. It was too big of a miracle to ask for.

“Turn here!”

Poe was pulled out of his thoughts when the trooper shoved him sideways into a tight alcove off the main hallway. Poe was now wide awake, fresh adrenaline now pumping through him. _What is this guy doing?!_ Poe thought in shock as the trooper lowered his gun and faced him straight on.

“Listen to me,” the robotic voice started hastily, “you do exactly as I say, I can get you outta here!”

_That was unexpected._ “Wait--what?!”

The trooper quickly took off his helmet and dropped his blaster to the floor. _That was really unexpected._

The dark skinned trooper looked panicked, but also had a look of fierce determination in his eyes.

“This is a rescue, I'm helping you escape! Can you fly a TIE-Fighter?” The unmasked stormtrooper asked desperately.  
  
“You with the Resistance?” Poe asked confused. _There isn't anyone uncover on the Finalizer! I know there isn't!_

“What? No no no I'm breaking you out! Can you fly a TIE-Fighter?” He was more impatient his time.

“I can fly anything” Poe pointedly stated. Didn't he know who he was talking to? “Wait why-”

The stormtrooper grinned and laughed nervously. Poe knew instantly he would never forget that smile, a smile of hope and relief. _The hope I desperately need right now, and the relief, well, that's how I'm beginning to feel._

“Why are you helping me?” Poe felt as if he should at least get some sort of explanation for the spontaneous heroism from the renegade trooper.

The stormtrooper became serious again. “Because it's the right thing to do.”

Poe saw right through that. “You need a pilot.”

“I need a pilot!”

Poe genuinely smiled back at the trooper who had given him a chance to change his fate.

“We're gunna do this!” Poe nodded at the trooper, excitement bubbling inside of him.

“Yeah?” The trooper, replied now worried, as if he hadn't actually expected Poe to agree to help. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Alright, this is the plan, we're going to head over to Hangar 10. It's close, but it's also the furthest away from Ren and Phasma right now. If we have any chance of pulling this off we cannot be seen by them. They all know that I'm not supposed to be escorting you anywhere. In the hangar, we've got to get to a two person TIE, and get out of here as fast as we can!”

“Got it,” Poe smirked. “I can keep my head down until we take off. I have no desire to see either of those people, believe it or not.”

The renegade trooper replaced his helmet and picked up his blaster. “Ready?”

“Let's get out of here,” Poe replied, trying to keep his hope filled smile off his face. As they quickly walked through the base Poe thought to himself, _this could actually work, all I need to do is get into a ship, any ship, and I know I can get us out of here!_

They soon entered the hangar, this one slightly smaller than the one Poe had arrived in. Poe did his best to avert his eyes at the officers and stormtroopers that passed them, almost forgetting that his blood stained face and dirt covered clothes made him stand out against the pristine white and black uniforms around him.

“Okay, stay calm, stay calm,” Poe heard the trooper whispering behind him.

“I am calm,” Poe replied quickly under his breath, trying to figure out what he had been doing wrong.

“I was talking to myself.” The trooper stated honestly.

Poe slowly turned his head, giving the trooper a confused look. He didn't know whether to laugh or to be deeply concerned about his rescuer.

When Poe faced forward again, he saw a large group of officers heading their way. He lowered his head, keeping a look of defeat on his face. When the officers passed without incident, he heard the trooper whispering behind him, “Not yet!”

Poe glanced to his left and saw a row of TIE fighters nearly lining the walls. _One of these of going to get us off this base,_ Poe thought confidently.

“Okay go!” The trooper whispered urgently, tugging on Poe's arm. “This way!”

They both jogged to the edge of the closest fighter. “Here, let me get those off!” The renegade trooper unlocked Poe's wrist restraints, and threw them to the side. “We'll take this first TIE here, this ladder leads right to the hatch-” the trooper started saying as Poe quickly climbed up and was already half way into the cockpit.

As Poe dropped into the seat, he heard the trooper quickly following. He hastily took of his jacket, as he took a moment to admire the intricate panels lining the cockpits walls.

“I've always wanted to fly one of these things!” Poe said excitedly, his fear and doubt left far behind him. “Can you shoot?”

“Blasters I can,” the trooper replied as he took off his helmet and settled himself into the unfamiliar seat.

“Okay same principle,” Poe rapidly explained as he started up the TIEs engines. “There's a toggle on your left to switch between missiles, cannons and mag pulses, sight on the right to aim, triggers to fire.”

“This is very complicated,” the trooper stated.

Poe allowed himself a small smile at the troopers comment, flipped one last switch before swiftly taking off. He felt the ship rising rapidly then-

-TINK!-

The TIE was locked down by security cables to the landing pad!

“I can fix this!” _At least, I think I can fix this?_

Poe instantly starting running through the TIEs operational systems, trying to find a step he might've missed to release them. He then saw an alarm go off; _great, we've been hit!_ Stormtroopers had quickly gathered and open fired on the TIE. Poe was beginning to worry about the damage to their escape ship when he heard the stormtrooper behind him begin firing on the enemies in the hangar. _Good to see the kid doesn't crack under pressure,_ Poe thought, relieved he wouldn't have to talk him into firing upon who was, just moments ago, his squad and allies.

While in reality it was only a few tense moments, it felt like Poe was tied down to the hangar for hours. He ignored the fire fight going on behind him while he attempted to figure out the proper sequence for releasing their ship.

_Oh, there it is._ A button clearly labeled ‘Lock Release’ was right about his head.

“Alright I got it!” Poe engaged it and they were hastily flying out of the Star Destroyer!

“Whoa! This thing really moves!” Poe shouted as he felt the g-forces pulling him against his seat. He quickly recovered and assessed their situation. He flew under the Star Destroyer, and immediately spotted the numerous cannons that were turned and aimed at their lone ship. Poe flew as close as he could manage to the underside of the Finalizer, hoping it would throw off the tracking of the weapons.

“Alright, we gotta take out as many of these canons as we can or we're not gunna get very far!” Poe hurriedly explained

“Alright-”

“I'm going to get us in position, just stay sharp!” Poe continued to instruct as he reset the toggles on his display to line the TIE up. They wouldn't get a second chance, he had to set it up just right.

“Up ahead up ahead! You see it?” Poe yelled the moment the canons were in range. “I got us dead center it's a clean shot!”

Poe barely heard the trooper whisper over the engines of the TIE, “I got it!”

After a second of concentration, the trooper fired, hitting both canons perfectly!

“Yeah!” “Yes!” They both cheered simultaneously.

“Did you see that? Did you see that?!” The trooper yelled excitedly, obviously pleased with his success.

“Yeah I saw it!” Poe replied smiling, proud of the troopers hit, considering he'd never been a gunner in a ship before.

“Hey, what's your name?” Poe asked, a little embarrassed that he didn't even know who is rescuer was.

“FN-2187.” He replied automatically.

“F-what?!” Poe tried repeating back, looking over his shoulder incredulously . _Did they really just number their troopers like in the Clone War days?_

“That's the only name they ever gave me,” the trooper answered.

“Well I ain't using it.” Poe said defiantly, refusing the continue anything the First Order did to his new hero. “FN, huh? Finn! I'm gunna call you Finn, is that alright?”

“Finn?”

There was a pause, Poe suddenly worried that he had upset the trooper with his choice of name.

“Yeah, Finn! I like that,” the trooper-no, Finn- exclaimed. “I like that!”

“I'm Poe, Poe Dameron!”

“It's good to meet you Poe!” Poe could practically feel the high of Finn’s new freedom radiating off him.

“Good to meet you too, finn!” Poe answered back, meaning every word. _If it wasn't for him, I'd still be Kylo's prisoner,_ Poe pondered as he expertly flew the TIE over and around the various bolts and missiles the Finalizer sent their way. Interrupting his thoughts was a sudden sensor alarm going off that he quickly read.

_And now they're using the ventral canons on us. Perfect._

Poe continued his wild flying, avoiding the tracking missiles at all costs.

“Ones coming towards ya,” he informed Finn, “my right your left! Do you see it?”

“Hold on!” Finn adjusted his viewer. “I see it!”

Poe saw the satisfying explosion from the direct hit. “Nice shot!”

Poe saw that he still had two missiles coming at them from behind, and he was pretty sure that with the TIEs superior speed he'd be able to outrun them if he kept flying straight. He adjusted his course slightly, and began diving towards Jakku, which luckily the Finalizer was still stationed nearby.

“Where are we going?” Finn asked, suddenly concerned.

“We're going back to Jakku, that where,” Poe stated.

“No no we can't go back to Jakku!”  
  
_Now Finn’s upset_ , Poe thought, _here's to our first fight._

“We need to get out of this system!”

“I gotta get my droid before the First Order does,” Poe started to explain.

“What?! A Droid?!” Finn yelled in disbelief.

“That's right! He's a BB unit, orange and white, one of a kind-”

“I don't care what color he is!” _And now Finn’s angry_. “No droid can be that important!”

“This one is pal-”

“We gotta get as far away from the First Order as we can,” Finn argued. “We go back to Jakku, we die!”

_If you stopped interrupting me I'll explain_ \- “that droid has a map that leads straight to Luke Skywalker!”

“Oh you've got to be kidding me!” Finn exclaimed. “I don't-”

Finn was cut off and Poe was thrown forward in his seat by a devastating impact on the TIEs wing. The TIE was spinning, almost completely out of Poe's control. A rogue missile had hit them, crippling the ship.

“Don't worry Finn, I got this,” Poe shouted back, attempting to get the TIE out of its continuing spin.

Poe didn't hear a response.

“Finn?”

Poe looked over his shoulder and saw Finn slumped over in his seat, only being held up by the seats safety restraints.

_Shitshitshit this isn't good_ , Poe tried not to panic as the surface of Jakku came hurdling towards them too quickly. He had only managed to stop the TIE from continuing to flip over itself, but now he had try and land the damned thing without killing them both.

Poe did his best to stabilized the ship's engines and contain the damage from spreading further. He gained minimal control over TIE, and hoped it would be enough to put his plan into action. He knew the First Order would be all over them soon, and Poe hoped that they thought the TIE was completely damaged. If they did think that, they'd most likely plot out the ship's landing point and head there, ready to recapture them both. The thought of the unspeakable things that the First Order would most certainly do to Finn, now a defector and traitor, made Poe sick. He was determined to keep Finn out of their twisted claws. He wouldn't be responsible for letting down the man who saved him from a dark and painful future.

Before regaining control, the TIE was headed towards the northern hemisphere of the planet, Poe adjusted their trajectory, hoping to land them instead somewhat near the village that he had been captured in. Most likely the First Order had already searched the area for BB-8, and hopefully left empty handed. Poe and Finn could begin their search for his little friend there.

Just as Poe thought he'd actually be able to land the damaged TIE Fighter, a whole new series of alarms started going off in the small cockpit. Poe desperately tried to find and solve the multiple problems, but his time was out. The sandy surface of Jakku was too close now, if he didn't act now neither of them would be walking away from this.

Poe quickly adjusted his safety restraints and hoped that they were high enough off the ground to activate the parachutes. With a last backwards glance at the unconscious Finn, hoping he'd be alright after this, Poe braced himself and hit the emergency ejection button.

  
There was an explosion of sound as the top blew off the top of the TIE, but only Finn’s seat was ejected. Trying to not panic, Poe scrambled to find the manual release, wishing he knew the TIE’s specs better.

Once he found the manual seat release, he tugged on it as hard as he could. The awkward angle and his damaged body wasn't letting him pull the bar up. Poe glanced out the TIEs viewport, and saw Jakku’s surface too close, then turned to pull harder on the lever.

“Come on, you kriffing piece of junk-” the suddenly the lever released and Poe was soaring through the hot desert air. He heard his parachute release, but soon realized that he was descending too quickly. His parachute hadn't opened.

Poe protected his head with his arms the best he could, hoping the fast approaching sand dunes wouldn't do too much damage. In the last seconds that he was still airborne he thought, _I hope Finn’s faring better than I'm about to be_ -

Then he hit the side of the sand dune, heard the sharp crack of his head hitting the back of his seat, then blacked out.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Kylo was sitting up in his bed, his arms wrapped around his sheet-covered knees. He was exhausted, and yet still incredibly furious. It had been a long time since anyone had dared to cross him so boldly. His rage had been uncontrollable since the pilot had been stolen from him yesterday. 

The entire ships personnel had avoided him like a plague once the word got out that the pilot escaped his grasp, knowing Kylo's restraint could snap at any moment. Except Hux, of course. Oh yes, Kylo did see that presumption in the General's eyes, he knew there would be hell to pay for the sudden treason of that lone stormtrooper. Yet Hux stood his ground, carried out his orders, and then even challenged Kylo… 

He looked over at the pale figure next to him. He was laying on his stomach, orange hair a mess, with bruises, old and new, dotting the porcelain skin of his back and neck. Kylo hated when Hux defied him so blatantly in front of their subordinates. It never failed to turned him on and make him hard, which was frustrating when he couldn't act on it at that very moment. 

Kylo sighed, disappointed that his usual methods of releasing his anger had done nothing to quiet the storm of emotions within him. After his reunion with his pilot, all the planning he had done for his imprisoned future, and then the rage at all of that being snatched from him, Kylo was surprised that he had even been in the mood to punish Hux. 

Yes, Kylo did want the pilot to be solely his. He had obsessed over the thought of breaking him and having him as an obedient partner. Kylo felt he deserved that prize after all the work he had done for the First Order and the galaxy. But he couldn't deny that the General had been the perfect pet over the past few years. 

When they first met and were forced to work side by side to complete the Supreme Leader's orders, they had fought and argued relentlessly. Kylo's thought Hux was too smart, a insufferable genius really, and was a meticulous, detail oriented, and privileged man that somehow always managed to look down his nose at Kylo, even though he was shorter than him. Hux knew Kylo was impulsive and destructive, incapable of restraint, taking orders from no one but himself and Snoke. Kylo could not stand being at essentially the same command level as this entitled man, who was most likely only here because he snaked his way through the ranks. Hux considered Kylo was just a child who had never been disciplined, lacked self control, and thought his high rank as ‘Leader of the Knights of Ren’ was only a vanity title. Neither of them were willing to even attempt to be civil to one another.

It wasn't until after an unexpected battle where Hux and Kylo were forced to fight side by side. The killing had awoken the bloodlust in the both of them, which is what attracted them to one another. Hux was deeply aroused by the sight of Kylo's body moving gracefully through the chaos he caused around him, his unstable lightsaber a perfect extension of his body that expertly cut down all that stood before him. Kylo was impressed by the Generals skill with a blaster pistol, never missing any target he aimed for. Hux’s intense cruelty showed when he shot a surrendering enemy point blank, only pausing to casually wipe a few blood specks from his perfect face. That act had excited Kylo to a point that he hadn't felt in years. 

Once alone after the battle and locked in Kylo's room, they had fought and fucked for dominance. In the end Kylo had come out on top, which seemed to be what Hux wanted all along. In that moment, as Kylo bent Hux over, pushing his head into the bed, Hux’s normal angry yet controlled composure slipped, and Kylo got a taste of the violent and cruel mind that was just beneath his surface. 

That was exactly what Kylo needed at that moment. A willing body that had a sexual appetite as twisted as his own. 

What Kylo assumed would be a one time thing turned into a regular release for the both of them. Both had regular stress or anger that needed to let out, and fucking was the most satisfying way to do so. Most nights that they were stationed at the same place, they usually ended up in one or the others room.

Kylo was always left satisfied after doing as he pleased with Hux. But not tonight. A once loyal stormtrooper, with great potential, unexpectedly deserted the First Order. His pilot, that he finally had the pleasure of having once again, had escaped him. Even the pilots damned droid eluded them, somewhere on that hellish planet below them. The Supreme Leader was most displeased with how easily the map slipped through his fingers. 

He clenched his fists together, the urge to destroy the closest thing to him rising uncontrollably. He glanced over at his lightsaber, sitting out of his immediate reach on a desk at the far side of the room. 

Then he looked over at the smooth curves of the body laying next to him. Hux would have to suffice. He ran a finger down his spine, causing him to stir. 

“What is it, Ren?” The General’s muffled voice huffed out. 

“Get up,” Kylo quietly commanded. 

Hux turned, just enough to glare questioningly at Kylo over his shoulder.

“I need you, now.” Kylo whispered sullenly, poking hard at a deep purple bruise on Hux’s lower back. 

Hux winced, then smirked at him.

“I can't very well refused that demand, now can I?” He replied, as he lithely crawled on top of Kylo, and used a finger under Kylo's chin to lift his lips to his own. 

Kylo immediately bit hard at Hux’s lip, a faint taste of blood now on his tongue. He was becoming confident that another round of torture would tame his rage enough to plot his revenge on the pilot and the stormtrooper turned traitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like my little side story Kylux tease ;3 maybe I'll write more about my First Order baddies someday...
> 
> Either way hope this holds ya until I finish the next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

_What the kriff-_

Poe slowly began to wake, his head pounding, body aching and-

_Why is there sand in my mouth?_

Poe could feel he was lying on his side, the side with the broken rib, of course. But he was also being held in that side ways position by something. Poe opened one eye to find himself surrounded by near complete darkness. He could barely make out the area around him, the sliver of dull moonlight not offering much to see by. It took him more than a moment before he remembered where he was, why he was still strapped to a seat, and how he got to be in so much pain.

_Finn. I've got to find Finn._

He carefully unclipped his safety restraints and gently let his body fall onto sand. He lay there for another minute, only motivated to move by the need to find his rescuer. He had no idea how long he had been out, and for all he knew the First Order could be closing in on them right then.

Poe groaned as he pushed himself up and forced himself onto his feet. He peered into the darkness, barely making out the top of a sand hill that his ejected seat had come to a stop at the bottom of. He made his way up the slope, figuring looking out from a high point would be his best bet at finding anything.

Now standing at the top of the dune, Poe looked out in a circle around him. _Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Unless you counted sand as something._

As far as Poe could tell, there wasn't a trace of the crashed tie fighter, nor another living soul around him. He didn't like the idea of just standing there until morning though. He needed to find both BB-8 and Finn, and then get the hell off this planet and back to the Resistance. Eyes now better adjusted to the dark, Poe did his best to figure out from what direction his seat had hit the ground. With that, he gave his best guess as to where the TIE might have possibly landed, and started walking in that direction, not having many other options to choose.

Poe didn't think he'd been walking too long when the sun began to rise over the dull horizon. Almost immediately the already hot temperature spiked even higher. After glaring briefly at the sun, Poe took advantage of the light and scanned the horizon. No sign of the TIE fighter or Finn. Poe was even hoping for a sign that his droid pal had rolled through here. For a minute he just stood there, hands on hips, a small frown on his lips..

_Well_ , he thought. _This sucks._

He figured the must've been knocked out for a while. The downed TIE should've caught fire or exploded, which would've left a trail of smoke in the sky. The sky was turning white-blue, and not even the wisp of a cloud could be seen, let alone a trail of black smoke that would mark a downed starship. He looked back the way he came, disappointed to see that most of his foot prints had been wiped away by the constantly shifting fine sand. He couldn't even track his way back the way he came. _Great_.

Not having much of a choice, Poe shrugged and started walking in same direction he'd already been going in. He might as well continue whatever progress he had made. Maybe he'd get lucky.

In a few short hours, the sun, now high in the empty sky, was taking its toll on Poe. His body had already been pushed beyond any normals person's physical limit, and now he was pushing it even further. It was until he starting wishing that he had something to shield his face from the sun that he realized he no longer had his old leather jacket with him. Poe let his head fall back in dismay. _Kriff, dad's going to be so mad,_ Poe knew. _Actually he’ll probably smile and say it was no big deal, and THAT will be even worse!_

As he was mentally berating himself for losing his one family possession, a glint of reflected sunlight caught Poe’s eye. He squinted at the source of the light, and a black and silver ship came into focus at the bottom of the steep dune he was standing on top of.

Feeling immediate relief, Poe began to run down the side of the dune towards the ship. He was too giddy with excitement from his sudden good luck to consider why a ship was out in the middle of nowhere, seemingly waiting just for him. Not looking where his feet were going, Poe suddenly lost his balance running in the uneven sand and his momentum sent him falling face first into the dune.

I really can't get a break, Poe thought to himself as he tried shaking the sand from his hair. As he began to get to his knees, he saw movement around the ship that caused him to drop flat back onto the ground. While still far away, Poe couldn't mistake the the white and black armor clad figure next to the ship: Stormtroopers.

_Okay, so I was right,_ Poe quickly surmised. _The First Order is looking for our TIE. At least they're in the wrong place. Or, at least I'm in the wrong place?_ Poe shook his head, and tried to clear his mind while attempting to figure out a plan. He needed that ship, but he also really needed to not get recaptured in the process.

Poe waited in his awkward vantage point, hoping his sand and dirt covered clothes would help keep him camouflaged out in the open. As he lay in wait, he observed three more troopers milling around the ship. Something seemed to be wrong, but he wasn't close enough to hear any of their conversation. Patiently he stayed still until all four troopers had moved back to the other side of the ship and then Poe sprang into action, rushing to get to the ship and hopefully get close to the ship unnoticed.

Poe's luck ran out as he was nearly close enough to touch the ship. He could see a bright white armored glove peeking out from the other side of the ship. Improvising, Poe dropped to the ground and rolled under the small, cramped space between the ship’s hull and the ground. His breath caught as he heard the crunch of boots in the sand coming closer to his hiding spot. He watched as the boots paused, took one step toward the hill he had just come down, then slowly walked back around the ship to his companions.

“Anything there?” Poe heard a female voice ask.

“The sun must be frying my helmet,” a male voice replied. Poe scooted his way towards the far side of the ship, wanting to try and see exactly what he was up against.

“Listen Two-Twelve,” a second male voice started, “Stop jumping at every sound, we've got enough to handle without you putting us all on edge.”

“You know just as well as I that there's vicious scavengers out here!” The trooper called Two-Twelve argued.

“Vicious?” The female trooper replied skeptically. “I understand being on guard while stranded planetside, but you're being paranoid Two-Twelve.”

When Poe got as far as he could to the other side of ship, all he could make out was four pairs of boots and legs. The stormtroopers were gathered in a loose circle together while they argued with Two-Twelve. The entrance to the ship seemed to be on the same side as where the troopers were standing. Poe needed a plan to get all of them to move away so he could sneak on board. And hopefully there isn't more troopers on the ship…

Two-Twelve retorted, “Eighty-Eight I know you've heard about the crazies that live on Jakku! Come on, back me up!”

The fourth trooper, apparently Eighty-Eight, replied hesitantly, “There's always rumors about all the inhabitants of all the planets we go to. I think it's more about keeping us on our guard, and not that anyone out here is really mad and just waiting to kill…”

The other troopers started laughing, “See Two-Twelve, even he knows better than to believe everything he hears!” The female teased.

“Come on Double-First-”

_Nicknames? In the First Order? I'll have to ask Finn if he had one-_

“-I heard an officer talking about it!” Two-Twelve argued. “An officer would know better than you! You've only been stationed on the Finalizer, how would you know anything more about Jakku than them?”

“Drop it, Two-Twelve,” the still unknown male trooper sighed impatiently. “We are supposed to be keeping a lookout for RS-Forty and his crew to find us and fix the life support systems. With that, communications and the locator down, we may never be found in this hell if we don't keep watch.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Two twelve replied. “I'll go back and keep watch on the south ridge…”

After another moment of grumbling, all four troopers dispersed to different directions in their small landing area.

_Well_ , Poe thought. _I'm sitting under a ship with no life support, no communications, and no location tracker._

_It's perfect!_

Poe peeked his head out from under the ship, so he could see all the troopers locations. Only two were in his view, a good fifty paces away, and neither facing him. He realized he had been given the perfect change to steal the First Order vessel.  _It's now or never._

Poe rolled out from under the transport and got to his feet as quickly as his body would allow. Hunched over, Poe made his way up the small ramp of the ship and darted inside.

He stood in a small four-man ship, equipped with two gunner seats. He moved to the front of the ship and squatted down between the pilot and co-pilot seats, and peered out the main viewport. He could see one trooper lazily walking along the bottom of the hill that he had dashed down. Ducking his head back down he examined the open panel under the control board. He could see on the ship's diagnostics readout that the life support was only half working; it was supplying oxygen, but couldn't regulate the temperature inside the hull. _I can fix that eventually._

Poe quickly went through the rest of the ship's controls making sure everything, especially the equipped hyperdrive, was in proper working order. He did notice a few other issues with the ship's systems, but nothing that would keep him stuck on Jakku for long.

Once satisfied that he had gone over all the controls (not wanting to repeat the TIE fighter being tied down to the Star Destroyer again...), Poe jumped into the pilot’s seat, retracted the ramp, engaged the door locks, and started up the ship's engines. Poe looked through the viewport and was surprised to see that none of the troopers he could see had reacted to their ship turning on supposedly by itself. _Ha, suckers._

Poe continued to move swiftly through the ship's startup checks. He glanced out the viewport again, then did a double take when he saw all four troopers gathered together and looking over the sand dune they were standing on top of. He stood up, trying to be a better vantage point to see what they were looking at. Then a ship, one much larger than the one he was commandeering, could be seen slowly hovering over the dune and towards his position.

Immediately Poe strapped himself into the pilot's seat and reached for the controls, waiting to use them until the new ship landed, so he could take off and hopefully take them by surprise.

_Not yet, not yet,_ Poe repeated to himself as the ship hovered about ten yards in front of his. His hand gripped the controls tightly, ready to move into action. After a moment that seemed to last a lifetime, the ship extended its landing gear, then lightly touched down onto the sandy surface.

Poe smirked as he immediately forced the ship to jump into the air as fast as its engines would allow. There was an immediate reaction from the stormtroopers on the ground, who began shooting up at his escape ship. He engaged the ship's shields and continued to climb higher into the atmosphere. Too soon though, Poe saw on his sensors that the newly arrived ship had taken off and was speeding towards him.

“Alright, let's see what you can do,” Poe said as he rolled the ship through multiple maneuvers to avoid being shot out of the air. Without anyone in the gunners seats, Poe only had minimal access to the ship's weapons. He would have to outwit his enemies if he hoped to get away.

He soon realized that he was extremely outgunned, while he did manage to dodge most attacks, but his tiny ship was starting to take damage. Desperate, Poe started flying up and backwards in long arch, putting more distance between him and the enemy. He then pushed the ship to its limit, forcing it drop upside out of its turn and start plummeting towards the ground. Before the other ship could react to his sudden change in direction, Poe fired a two missiles into the enemy's ships backside, causing enough damage to significantly slow them down for the time being.

He took a second to congratulate himself as he saw the ship trailing further and further behind him. But just as Poe was planning to get off their radar and start looking for Finn and then BB-8, four more First Order ships appeared on the horizon.

“You gotta be kidding,” Poe sighed under his breath. As much as he hated to leave without his friends, if he wanted to live he had to escape.

_If I'm dead, no one knows where to look for them._

After a moment of hesitation, the logic of staying alive won out and Poe turned the ship up towards the expanse of space above him. Once he broke through the planet's atmosphere, the temperature in the ship dropped dramatically.

_Ah, the faulty life support._ He frowned at the forgotten fact, hoping he'd be able to fix it once he got himself into a better situation.

The First Order ships weren't too far behind as Poe punched in the coordinates for his jump into hyperspace. He took one last regretful look at Jakku,angry with himself for not being able to find Finn and rescue him, before the stars stretched out around him and the stolen ship entered hyperspace.

Within seconds the inside of the ship turned freezing, the void of space sucking all heat from the hull. Shivering, Poe slid out of his seat to the floor, and start reexamining the machinery under the console. On the small diagnostic screen, he found the schematics for the life support system. He had a decent knowledge of working on spacecraft, but for whatever reason the First Order seemed to have invested in incredibly complicated machinery.

What should have normally been just a quick reset and calibration, was quickly turning into a confusing reworking of the entire system. Even though the cabins temperature was still dropping, Poe was sweating trying to not pull the wrong set of wires with his numb fingers, which would completely disable all of the life support systems.

“Ok-k-kay,” Poe said to himself through chattering teeth. “This s-should be the last one.” He carefully reconnected the life supports main power supply, and hit the reset switch. The overhead lights flickered for a moment, and all seemed to start working when a steady hum started vibrating throughout the hull. Poe was closing the console panel back up when the humming started to stutter, then stopped with a worrisome grinding noise.

“Well, f-fuck.”

Poe reopened the console panel and tried to find another solution to the problem. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped one arm around them, trying to prevent some of his body heat from escaping him. He could barely operate the computer at this point, his fingers completely numb and his hand wouldn't stop shaking no matter how hard he concentrated. He checked the estimated time until he dropped out of hyperspace and saw he had three hours to go.

Tired, aching, and freezing, Poe took a break from trying to fix the perplexing system and he folded himself into the small space between the seat and the console, trying to keep whatever warmth he had left as close to him as possible. He knew he should get up and see if they had any supplies or maybe even clothes of some sort stored onboard, but he could barely keep his eyes open now. The only rest he had got in the last day (Two days? Three?) was from being knocked unconscious, and now his body was shutting itself down in protest to the limits it had been pushed past. Poe wanted to stay awake, falling asleep in these freezing conditions, and most likely with a concussion from all his head injuries, could be deadly. He knew this, yet he rested his head on his knees that were bent to his chest. He told himself to get up and move over and over as his eyes stayed closed longer and longer after each blink.

Poe sighed in defeat as his body shut down. He quickly fell into an uneasy sleep, dreaming of a lost love torturing him mercilessly from behind a mask, and of an abandoned stormtrooper who now needed rescuing from him, a friend that had been unable to find him…

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read The Force Awakens novelization, then you know this isn't what happens. But I thought what they wrote wasn't the best sooooooo yeah. If you haven't read it, then this is totally what happened, 10000% accurate ;3
> 
> Hope you like, hopefully I'll post he next chapter sooner rather than later :D


	8. Chapter 8

_“-Ben, please stop! Don't do this to me!”_

_As the lightsaber flashed again too close to Poe's face, he was unable to take his eyes off the chaotic red blade that was always inching closer and closer to him. He was helplessly mesmerized by the blade that Ben kept burning into him. They were only the tiniest cuts that a weapon like that could inflict, but they continued to burn long after the blade was removed. Each new wound was made deeper by the fact that it was his Ben that was inflicting such agony on him, agony that seemed to cause Ben a dark pleasure._

_“If you don't want to hurt anymore,” the dead mechanical voice spoke through the mask, “then I'll just hurt him instead.”_

_Poe watched in horror as Kylo turned and raised his weapon high, poised to strike down the prone renegade stormtrooper that had risked everything to save Poe._

_“No! Ben don't kill him!” Poe screamed, now suddenly too far away to stop him. “Please, I'll do anything! Don't touch Finn!”_

_“You are mine, pilot,” Ben spoke from behind his mask. “You always will be. No one will take you from me now!”_

_“Poe help me!” Finn yelled out, reaching out to him as the red saber sliced through the air, a perfect killing blow._

_“Poe! Help!”_

_Poe was too far away, he couldn't reach Finn in time. He saw the reflection of the red blade in Finn's eyes just before--_

Poe's eyes flew open right as the lightsaber would've hit its mark. He struggled to catch his breath as he was startled awake from his nightmare,his shallow breaths seemed to freeze in his lungs. The nightmare and reality we're difficult to separate, it was nearly impossible for Poe to tell what torture was real and which he dreamt. He could feel himself begin to panic as he took in the unfamiliar setting around him, heard the frantic beeping of an alarm, and found that he couldn't move or really even feel any part of his body.

_Why is it so cold?_

He could feel the few tears that had escaped him while he dreamt were freezing into ice against his cheeks. His head was pounding, so intensely it caused his vision to blur. _And that shrieking alarm, what was going wrong now?_

As his eyes slowing came back into focus, Poe recognized the the interior of the First Order ship he had escaped Jakku on. He was still on the floor, wedged between the seat and the console. He forced his hands to unclench from around his knees, and held them in front of his face. Through the puffs of fog his breath was creating in the frozen hull, he saw his fingers had turned an unpleasant shade of blue. He cupped then around his mouth and attempted to breath some warmth onto them. As he tried to revive his fingers Poe also started flexing his stiff toes in his boots. He needed to be able to stand to see what the alarm was blaring about.

Eventually blood began to circulate into his limbs, and the numbness began to dissipate. Poe carefully stretched out each leg, his muscles protesting every small movement he made. He rubbed his hands against his arms using the friction to bring life back into them. Every inch of his body ached with a pain that Poe had never felt before and he unsuccessfully attempted to ignore that pain as he grabbed ahold of the ship's console and pulled himself up.

Through gritted teeth a long groan escaped him. His hands shook against the console, now that they were no longer numb the freezing air began to bite at them again. As Poe began to look for the source of the alarm, he noticed drops of blood on the panel. He watched as another drop appeared next to his thumb and realized one of his head wounds had reopened. He didn't bother trying to put pressure on it, hoping it would close up on its own while he tried shutting up that damned alarm.

A bright blue and red unmarked button was flashing in time with the alarm in the upper corner of the console. Poe tried pushing the button to see if that would turn it off. _Of course it didn't._

He then started searching through the ship's console screen, sifting through the various warnings about the ship's poor physical state. Then he saw what the alarm was going off about; he was about to come out of hyperspace, with ship's waiting for him in real space. _This vessel has some nice sensors, at least._

Poe turned off the alarm, realizing the real folly of his plan. He would be arriving at the Resistances top secret base, in a First Order ship, with no communications to be able to let his allies know that it was him. He practically collapsed in the chair behind him and laughed sadly at his own bad luck. _Freezing to death wouldn't be ironic enough for me_ , he thought bitterly, _the universe just had to make my friends blast me to space dust._

He covered his face with his trembling hands. The urge to just sit back and let whatever fate awaited him play out was becoming an appealing choice. He'd been captured, tortured, taken advantage of, had old emotional wounds reopened, crash landed on a desert planet, and nearly froze to death on a stolen ship. Poe didn't think he could physically or mentally take anymore. He'd only considering giving up a couple of times in the past, but this was a first, when he was willing to give up on his life. The fight within him seemed truly gone in that moment.

_Don't be stupid you can't go out like this,_ he thought stubbornly.

_Yeah, why not?_ He argued. With himself. _Now I'm suicidal and crazy._

_BB-8 and Finn, have you already forgotten about them? If you let yourself get killed, they die too._

He sighed, still shivering uncontrollably, his head still slowly but steadily bleeding, with every muscle seizing up in protest, but he knew in his heart he had to press on. He wouldn't be Poe Dameron, leader of Black Squadron, Resistance fighter, the son of Rebels Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, or the best damned pilot that he claimed to be if he just laid down his life, even in such a hopeless, fucked-up situation. He wiped the trail of blood away from his eye and sat up, checking the time before he dropped out of hyperspace. He had about a minute, less than a minute, to come up with something. Anything.

He limped over to the back of the ship and found a small storage closet. Inside was a few replacement parts for the stormtroopers blasters, a broken visor from a troopers helmet, and a First Aid kit. He tore the kit open and was about to wrap his head when an idea hit him. The First Order ships viewport wasn’t tinted, so other ships could easily see into the pilot area. Poe rolled out a stretch of the white bandage, and paused realizing he had nothing to write with. A drop of bright red blood dripped onto the white cloth, and Poe smirked at the twisted solution to his problem. He dipped a finger into the fresh blood pooling near his hairline over and over until he was moderately satisfied with his message.

He grabbed a roll of medi-tape and rushed over to the view port. He taped up the bandage with the unfortunately bloody message across the window just as the stretched stars snapped back into place around the ship. Poe could see the blood stains seeping through the thin material, and he reread (now backwards to him) his message: ITS DAMERON with the pilot's wing he had stamped on the side of his personal helmet drawn hastily on the end. He hoped that would convince the Resistance that it was him and not a trick conceived by the First Order.

He sat in the pilot's seat and grabbed the mic, hoping the communications were only down one way. Before he could press the receiver button, his ship was hit from the side. It was clearly a warning shot, but he now saw four X-Wings and one A-Wing circling his ship. _Come on guys just get a little closer then you'll see it's me!_

He pushed the button for the mic, and flipped the switch to broadcast his message to all open frequencies, “This is Black Leader Poe Dameron of the Resistance! I am Piloting a commandeered First Order Vessel with limited communications! I repeat this is Poe Dameron please hold your fire!”

He leaned over the console, nearly pressing his face against the glass of the viewport, hoping to see the Resistance fighters backing off. He saw one blue and grey X-Wing swoop in close from above and hit his ship with another warning shot. Poe double checked that his shields were holding while making sure his ship was keeping completely still, not wanting to provoke them.

He got back on the mic, repeating the same message hoping someone would pick up his signal and hear him out. The same X-Wing approached his ship again- _I think that's Pava_ -slower this time. _I think she can read my SOS_ , Poe thought hopefully as he watched the ship pass under him, but didn't shoot. He could swear the other pilots were hesitating. _Could Pava read his sign? Did they think it was a trap?_

Poe's eyes widened in surprise as he saw the Starship's line up in an escort position. He grinned widely and he slowly pulled his ship into the center spot and allowed himself to be guided to the planet of D’Qar. Now closer, he could see that it was definitely Pava leading the escort. Snap was in the X-Wing to his right, Poe could almost make out his helmet through the X-Wings side viewport!

Sitting back in the pilot's chair, Poe let himself relax for a moment as they broke the planet's atmosphere. He saw a few more Starships join the procession and was glad to know that the Resistance wasn't taking any chances, even with one of their own possibly returning from-- _huh, the dead? I guess they really don't know what would've happened to me_ …

The closer he flew to the surface of the planet, the warmer the interior of the ship became. Poe could nearly feel himself tearing up from relief at just the slight increase of temperature. He continued to follow his escort and noticed quickly that they weren't leading him to the Resistances main hangar. _Smart, he thought, good to see they're not taking any risks here_.

It wasn't too long before they set down in a clearing a good few miles from the base. As Poe touched down lightly on the ground, he hoped that they weren't planning on walking him back to the base. He'd been through enough without adding a march to his recent punishments.

Poe then opened the ship's main hatch and lowered the ramp, which was meet with protests.

“Hands in sight!” He heard Snap yell into the ship from outside “If we see one trooper, or one weapon, we won't hesitate to shoot!”

Poe turned in his seat and raised his hands above his head, and waited only for a few seconds before Snap was up the ramp, blaster raised and aimed at him. Snap immediately lowered his weapon and smiled when he saw Poe was alone. “Dameron? That really you?”

“What, did you miss me?,” Poe began as he stood up. Immediately blood rushed to his head too quickly and he swayed where he stood. He briefly saw Pava enter the ship when his vision went in and out of focus. He was barely able to flash a cocky grin at his squadmates before he stumbled and fell to his knees. He faintly heard his friends run up to him through the pounding in his head.

“Poe are you okay-”

“-Dameron, what's wrong?!”

He tried waving them off, needing some air. “I'm alright guys, really I'm fine. I need to get to General Organa now!”

Pava hesitated, “Poe are you sure-”

“Jess I'll be fine. Get me to the General, then we can worry about me.”

He looked up at her and could see worry and fear all over her face. _I guess I look pretty bad_. “Jess, lets go. Now.”

She nodded before looking away from Poe “Snap, get back to your ship and call back to the base. Let them know we do have Dameron and we'll be arriving in the First Order ship. Make sure the General knows she's needed in the hangar as soon as we arrive.”

Snap rushed out of the ship as Pava helped Poe back to his feet. He made to sit in the pilot's seat when Pava stopped him, “Uh-uh, no way. Not even you get to pilot this after coming back to base looking like,” she paused unable to find that right word, “like _that_.”

Poe rolled his eyes and sat in the co-pilot's seat, actually quite grateful he wouldn't have to concentrate on anything for the time being. He watched as Pava took down his makeshift banner, how she stared at in shock. “Is this blood, Poe?”

He shrugged, “I didn't really have many options on such short notice.”

The fear she had for him and what he must've went through was easy to read in her eyes, but she squared her shoulders and began the process of getting the ship back in the air. Poe leaned back into his seat and let his eyes rest while they made their way to the base. He wanted to thank Pava, he knew she must hate leaving her ship in the middle of the jungle like this, possessive as she was of it, but his energy was steadily dropping and he needed to preserve it for when he got back to the base. He had a feeling he'd being talking to the General for a while once they landed.

“Poe?” Pava began tentatively.

“Hmm?”

“Um, your head is bleeding pretty bad,”

Poe shrugged, it couldn't be that bad. “It's fine, I've lived this long, ya know.”

They were both silent before Poe asked, “That was you who fired the warning shots, right?”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Pava replied sheepishly. “I didn't see your message until the third pass-”

“No no, you guys did great,” Poe complimented. “If I had an enemy ship come up on the hyperspace sensors, you can bet I'd be waiting for them with a few blasts.”

Poe felt the ship begin to descend again, he opened his eyes and saw that practically the entire Resistance had gathered in the hangar to see what had happened with a First Order ship coming to their planet. _Instead they just get to see me, not dead, but pretty damn close_.

He waited until the ship was landed, and the hatch opened before he attempted standing again. He took it slow getting to his feet, not really in the mood to pass out in front of everyone. Before stepping out of the ship, Poe put on the best smile he could manage and held his head high. No matter what the First Order had done, he refused to let the Resistance know that they could break him completely.

He took a final deep breath and set his shoulders back as he walked down the ramp. He could hear the subdued gasps at his appearance, _I really must look awful_ , and the shock at his arrival back at the base was clear on their faces. He guessed that his leaders had told the Resistance members of his possible capture and hadn't expected him to return.

He admitted to himself that he felt a little dejected, seeing as how everyone was looking at him in shock, just like Pava and Snap had. Maybe they saw just how broken he really was. And maybe he was more broken than he thought…

Then one face caught his eye and renewed his hope; General Leia Organa. She was standing at the entrance to the hangar and he could see her smiling in relief.

_If the General’s relieved to see me, maybe I can still help_. Poe genuinely smiled at the thought.

_Maybe I'll be alright_.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

After many protests and arguments, Poe finally sat down in a private room surrounded by the leaders of the Resistance. They kept insisting he go to the infirmary and be treated by a doctor. Poe knew that if he'd made it this long with our help, he'd make it a little longer. The information he had was too important to wait.

As soon as everyone was seated, Poe looked at the General, “We've got to go back to Jakku. Now. Finn and Beebee-ate are still there and we've got-”

“Dameron, slow down,” Leia interrupted. “Finn? Who's Finn?”

“Finn is the stormtrooper that got me off of the Finalizer-”

At that statement there was a noticeable reaction from everyone, questions came at Poe from every direction.

“Alright, everyone calm down, calm please” Leia raised her voice over the rest. Once quiet, she continued, “Poe, I think you need to start from the beginning.”

Immediately Poe launched into his story, not wanting to waste another second. He quickly skimmed over landing on Jakku and finding Lor San Tekka. He explained the arrival of the First Order, then his decision to give the map to BB-8 once his X-Wing had been too damaged to fly. That was met with some grumbling, but Poe defended his choice, letting them know that the map to Skywalker would've already been in the hands of the First Order if he hadn't trusted in his droid. The General also made a point that she herself had trusted the Dearh Star plans to an R2 unit, and it was that choice that has lead to the defeat of the Empire.

He then told his audience of the arrival of Kylo Ren, and how quickly he killed Lor San Tekka. The General was visibly saddened by the news of San Tekka’s death. But when he got to the part of how he aimed his blaster at Kylo, and took his shot, he couldn't bring himself to meet the Leia’s eyes. He stared down at his blood stained hands that were on the table in front of him, unable to tell Leia directly that he had tried to kill her son. No one else in the room knew of Kylo's former identity, so the only reaction was disappointment that the masked man still continued to draw breath.

Poe continued with his story, recounting his capture and arrival on the Finalizer. Being the first member of the Resistance to board the Super Star Destroyer and live, the leaders in the room had many questions. He did his best to answer, but also told them that he had only a few areas of the Destroyer. He did though try and get it into their heads that the Finalizer was heavily supplied with stormtroopers and TIE fighters, and that the Resistance would not be able stand against that ship alone, they simply did not have the manpower.

Poe did try to skim over part about his torture. He had no issues with explaining what the Stormtroopers had put him through, but telling everyone what Kylo had done wasn't something he was about to do.

Poe paused for the first time since retelling his story. It's wasn't just what happen between the two former partners physically, but Poe still felt a deep shame within him that the information Kylo had required had been taken from him so easily. He didn't feel like he could just admit that failing.

“Poe?” The General gently interrupted his thoughts. “You said Kylo Ren came into interrogate you after you were knocked out?”

Poe looked up at her, and saw the sympathy and understanding in her eyes. She nodded encouragingly, and that bolstered him enough to continue.

“Yeah… after being knocked out, it was Kylo that came into question me. He,” Poe took a deep breath. “he beat me over and over, not because he felt he had to to get the information he needed, but he did it because he could… After he got his fill, he used the Force to dig into my mind and, and he forced me to say that I gave the map to BeeBee-ate, even though he could easily read it in my head.”

Poe clenched his hands into fists.

“He just wanted me to be the one to say it,” Poe barely whispered.

Poe heard one of the Admirals, Statura he thought, begin to ask him something. Leia hushed him and let Poe take a moment to recover.

Not wanting to dwell on thoughts of Kylo, Poe began to tell them of the renegade stormtrooper that risked his own life to save Poe’s. A few of the people in the room were skeptical of Finn’s real motives, thinking that he must've only acted as a rescuer in order to get Poe to take him to the droid. Poe would not let such accusations stand.

“Finn is not a spy,” he argued relentlessly. “I'm telling you, I saw the hope in his eyes! He needed out of there as badly as I did. I'd bet everything I have on that!”

“So you expect us to go and find this stormtrooper and bring him back to our base?” One of the Captains asked.

“Yes! And he's not a stormtrooper anymore, he proved that much,” Poe shot back. “Finn is officially one of us, and deserves rescuing off of Jakku if nothing else. What is there not to understand? He saved me! I would have died or suffered worse on that ship if it wasn't for Finn!”

“If he turned traitor to the First Order he could turn traitor against us!”

“Don't you dare accuse Finn of that,” Poe stood up at that, wanting to lung across the room and throttle the Captain. “If he's caught he'll be worse than dead, he would never-”

“I agree with Dameron,” The General interjected, swiftly ending the argument. “We must go back to Jakku for both the droid and Finn. Anything past that can be figured out once the time comes.” She silenced the rest of the group with her decision. “Poe, is there anything else that needs to be added?”

He shrugged as he went over the rest of the events in his head. “After stealing the TIE, we were shot down and crashed on Jakku. I woke up, no Finn, no TIE. I stole a First Order ship from a few unlucky stormtroopers, got a little frozen while in hyperspace due to a faulty life support system, and made it back here. I think that's the jist of it all.”

Leia frowned at his nonchalant tone, clearly thinking there was a lot more to it than just that. She let it go quickly and said, “Thank you, Poe. I speak for all of us when I say that you did all you could and more that could be expected of you. After not hearing from you for four days, I'll admit we feared the worst. We were prepared to evacuate the base tomorrow morning if he hadn't received word of your situation. You did the Resistance proud, Dameron.”

Poe couldn't help the small smile on his lips. He felt like shit for letting so many down with not getting the map back to the base. But he couldn't help but let the General's words affect him, at least a little bit.

“Poe I promise you we will get Beebee-ate, and your friend Finn, off of Jakku as soon as we can,” the General continued. “For now I am ordering you to the infirmary and I want you to stay there overnight for observation. You look like hell, Dameron.” She finished with a smirk.

He chuckled at that. He knew she wouldn't allow him to lead a mission back to Jakku. At least not tonight. “I'll admit I've felt better, General,” he said as he stood and nodded to the rest of the leaders in the room. “I'll let you know if I remember anything else of significance. Thank you.”

Poe glared at the Captain that had insulted Finn once more before he turned out of the room. He grumbled about the lack of faith and trust everyone else seemed to lack in his rescuer all the way to the infirmary. He was used to having his intuition questioned (one too many missions where he may or may have not made some mistakes), but he would not have his judgement on Finn doubted at all.

He soon made it to the infirmary where the doctor and nurse on duty fused over his physical state. While he was being cleaned up he finally got a look at himself in a mirror.

_Kriff, I do look like hell. Worse, even._

Poe was covered head to toe in sand, dirt, blood, or a combination of all three. He had a lovely black eye, and his bottom lip was swollen all out of proportion. His clothes were hanging loosely off his frame, he had definitely lost weight in the four days he had been gone.

_I've haven't eaten in four days?!_ He thought incredulously as a nurse was cleaning and stitching up the largest gash on his head. Food is my temporary top priority.

He waited patiently while the bases’ doctor finished looking him over. There wasn't much they could do about be broken rib except slap a bacta-patch over it and wait for it to heal. The doctor was assigning him a bunk when Poe stopped her.

“Would it be alright if I just ran to my own room to shower and change?” He asked innocently. “I'd rather have some privacy than clean up here.”

The doctor raised her eyebrow at him. There was no one else there but them. “Yes, that's fine Dameron. I didn't really expect you to stay. Be here first thing in the morning or I'll send the General after you.”

Poe smirked and gave the Doctor his thanks. He was grateful that his room wasn't too far away, because after having all his injuries checked out he seemed to hurt even more. He only hoped the pain meds they gave him would kick in sooner rather than later.

As soon as he was secure inside his own private room, he stripped off his Jakku-covered clothes and stepped into the refresher. Other than the hot water stinging all the scrapes covering his body, just standing still under the steady flow of water was starting to help him relax. It was refreshing to feel the grime being washed away from his body. He ran his hands carefully through his matted hair to get all the blood and sand out of it, even now feeling just a touch of vanity that he hadn't looked his best through his ordeal. He smiled at his own ridiculousness, but he was also satisfied to know that he still had a little humor left in him.

Once finished he carefully dried himself off, carefully to not rip out any of his newly received stitches. Poe threw on a clean, baggy shirt and shuffled into some comfy pants before he stretched out face first on his bed. While his body began to unwind, he turned his head and looked sadly at the BB-8’s empty charging station in the corner of the room. He thought about his droid, and about Finn, wondering if they had managed to still avoid capture by the First Order.

As he closed his eyes, about to give into sleep, his last thoughts were of Ben. Of how Ben had hurt him, and yet Poe still couldn't hate him…

_Poe opened his eyes and saw Ben laying across from him. He still had the last bits of youthfulness in the softened lines of his features. There was the touch of innocence in his eyes, those large, dark eyes that had drawn Poe in so quickly. He lightly touched Ben's black hair, remembering how he had been growing it out and it had just finally gotten long enough to tie back. Ben unsuccessfully tried not to smile at Poe’s touch. Poe had always loved that defiance Ben used to hide his actual feelings._

_“Where did you go, Ben?” Poe whispered, his voice hitching in his throat. “Why did you have to leave me?”_

_“I've always been with you,” Ben spoke softly, no hint of emotion on his face now._

_Poe shook his head, suddenly filled with dread at Ben's answer. He flinched away from Ben's hand as he caressed Poe’s cheek. He tightly shut his eyes, not wanting to see everything he thought he wanted._

I know Ben is gone.

_Ben leaned in close to Poe “I'm right here,” he whispered against his lips, then he kissed Poe softly._

_Poe opened his eyes as Ben pulled away. His longing was suddenly turned into fear as Ben moved his hand to Poe’s neck and he squeezed his fingers tightly around it._

_He watched, unable to move, as the young Ben he cared for changed before him. His eyes turned cold, the lines of his face sharpened, rage and hate now radiating from Kylo's presence._

_“I'll always be with you, pilot,” Kylo sneered. “I'm stuck in that sick, twisted mind of yours.”_

_Kylo's fingers tightened further around Poe's throat, choking him. Poe tried push Kylo away but only found himself being pulled closer to his tormentor._

_Kylo laughed quietly, now using both hands to crush his throat. Poe could only mouth his protests, the air completely cut off from him now._

_“We'll always be together, my pilot,” Kylo sighed before biting down on Poe's lip, drawing blood._

Poe shoved himself away from Kylo hard, then woke with a start as he pushed himself out of his bed and landed painfully on the cold floor.

He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, fighting back tears. It had been ages since he had nightmares about Ben, and their dark reunion had brought back all those fucked up feelings that Poe still couldn't deal with.

He couldn't comprehend how wrapped around Ben he was. Yes, he had his eyes on the soon-to-be-Jedi the moment he had arrive at the Resistance base so many years ago. In reality they only had shared a handful of days together. But those days had been spontaneous, wild and full of a unrelenting passion that Poe couldn't describe properly.

He knew that he had been in love with his former partner, Muran, before he had been killed. He knew what love felt like. But the level of need he had felt for Ben after that first kiss had been uncontrollable. He had to fight against his own urges to give into anything Ben wanted. Even while it was happening Poe couldn't seem to explain or control his actions around the teen and that want didn't cease after he left. He had never felt such intense emotion and connection to another person like that.

He made himself sit up while wiping his eyes. He began to recall the day when the Resistance had received news of the utter destruction of the Jedi Temple that Luke Skywalker had rebuilt. He listened to the report terrified, they claimed that no survivors had been found and that they couldn't even confirm if Skywalker had been killed in the attack. They had been showed violent photos of the slaughter, the bodies of children and teens and adults were scattered about the remains of the temple.

He remembered trying to fight the panic rising within him as he rushed to find Leia. He needed to know, he couldn't let either hope or devastation enter his mind right now. He needed to know Ben's fate. As he rushed through an empty part of the base he almost ran into Captain Solo. Han was running back towards the hangar, anger clear in his eyes. Poe stopped briefly to watch him continue down the hall, wondering if the ex-smuggler knew his son's fate.

Poe soon found the General surprisingly alone in the main meeting room. She was standing before the long oval table that stood on the center of the room, her eyes wide and staring out at nothing. As Poe approached her, he thought she looked sick. Her skin was too pale and it seemed as of a light breeze could blow her over. Poe feared the worst.

He gently placed his hand on top of hers. It was only then she realized that she was no longer alone. When she looked at him Poe thought he eyes looked haunted, as if she has witnessed the Jedi slaughter herself.

“General?” Poe whispered. “...Leia?Is, Ben...Did they…?” He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

“Did they kill Ben?” Leia replied blankly.

Poe nodded.

She looked away from him.

“I wish they did.” She breathed.

_I didn't hear her right._ “What?”

“Everyone is dead,” Leia answered, completely devoid of emotion. “Because of Ben.”

Poe could only stare back at her, utterly confused. He just could not understand the statement she just made. _Ben? Responsible for the death of all those people? Did he make some sort of security mistake and accidentally gave away their location to their enemies?_ How could the General be so sure that her own son was at fault to say that?

“But, Ben's alive?” Poe asked, still stunned at the General's reaction to all this. “If he made an error he can't be fully blamed--”

“Dameron you don't understand.” She cut him off, he could hear her underlying anger coming through. “Ben is gone.”

Poe took a step back. “But you said that--”

“I know what I said Dameron!” She slammed a shaking fist on the table in front of her. “Ben is gone! He betrayed them! He turned away from us and murdered all those people!”

He shook his head, “He couldn't…”

“He could and he did!” Leia responded, her voice steadily rising. “Luke made the wrong call with Ben! Or maybe it was me that did it, I don't know! We knew he was channeling the dark side and we let him! I-I have proof that he joined our enemies and is determined to wipe out everything in his path. Ben is lost to us!” Leia choked on her last word.

She tossed over a small holopad with a video playing in a loop over and over on its screen. Instinctively Poe wanted to chuck it across the room, but he couldn't help watching the destruction play out. A tall thin male, dressed in black robes, was cutting down helpless Jedis with a red lightsaber that was unlike any saber Poe had seen or heard about. It had a crimson blade, but it seemed to be erratic and unpredictable, sparking and flaring when the blades were usually smooth and steady. It also had two small red blades protruding from vents near the main blade, making a chaotic cross guard. It's wielder was wearing a black and silver mask, the silver markings reflecting the red blade, making Poe think of a bloody skull.

The masked stranger easily cut down the Jedi that stood around him. He stood there for a moment, his shoulders raising with every breath, observing the massacre around him. He was soon joined by two others, also dressed in black. They seemed to exchange some words before one of the newcomers started gesturing at the helmet, then his ear. A speaker malfunction.

The man began to remove the helmet. Dread filled Poe as he witnessed the unmistakable profile of Ben Solo appear from under the helmet. It was only a glimpse of Ben before the video looped and began over.

Poe set down the holopad before leaving the room without another word. He heard the door slide shut behind and he only made it to the wall on his right, before slowly sliding down to the floor. He just stared at his own hands, clenched into fists. Nothing could have prepared him for this situation, to learn that Ben had been able to take those lives. That he had become the enemy in an instant.

He wasn't sure how long he sat in that hallway, trapped in his own mind again. He usually longed to be reunited with Ben, dreamed to be with him again. Now… now he didn't know what to do with these feelings. He was just numb. He was brought back to reality when Leia eventually exited the room and looked down at Poe.

“Please don't tell anyone that was my son.” Leia stated simply. “We’ll be evacuating the base tonight.”

Poe nodded his agreement.

“And Dameron,” Leia hesitated. “If you ever see him again, take him out.”

She then walked swiftly away without turning back.

Poe brought himself back to the present with a shake of the head. He hated dwelling on that day in his past.

_Lucky me,_ he thought bitterly, _now I have new memories to fuck me up._

His hands had begun to tremble with pain again, but not from his body. The physical torture he had gone through was still felt in every inch of him, but the pain from Kylo's mental torture was still tearing him down internally. The feeling of his mind being ripped apart and torn down still stung to think about.

As he intertwined his fingers together to try and get the tremors to stop, there was a knock on his door. _Kriff, that's probably the doctor,_ Poe thought. He had no idea how long he'd been out. _She just had to show up in the middle of my breakdown. Convenient._

“The door’s open,” he said loudly, unwilling to get up off the floor. He honestly just didn't have the strength to move.

To his slight surprise, it wasn't the doctor but the General who entered his room. He tried smiling and greeting her brightly, as if he wasn't on the floor of his room still looking like the mess he knew he was, but ended up wincing as he accidentally pulled at his stitches when turning his head too quickly.

Leia laughed and rolled her eyes as she leaned against the inside of his door.

“No need to act around me Dameron,” she smiled gently. “I've got an idea of what you've really been through, and I'm sorry to disturb you. After all you've been through I know you need time to recover. But, I have questions that only you can answer.”

“Of course, General,” Poe replied, straightening up a little, wanting to be alert for his leader.

“I need to ask you about Ben.”

Poe tried to not let his expression fall at hearing his name. He just nodded at her statement.

The General seemed to brace herself. “I know you didn't give a full account as to what he did to you. I saw you hesitate. I could see the pain as you relived those memories in your mind. It had to have been unbearable what he fully did to you, for you to have that look of fear and hurt that I saw on your face.”

Poe looked away, knowing his silence would be an affirmative answer for her.

“With everything that he put you through, you're the only one that can tell me this: is Ben still there?”

Poe looked back at the General, meeting her troubled eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Is Ben still there?” She asked, desperation coloring her words. “Or has Kylo Ren consumed my son completely?”

Poe shook his head, shutting his eyes tight. This was a question he hadn't been able to ask himself properly since his escape, let alone answer it. “I don't know why you'd ask me that, General. I don't--”

“Poe, let's be out in the open about this,” she interrupted. “I know about you and Ben, before he left with Luke.”

_Oh. Of course she knew…_

“You're the only person who knows who he was, and has seen him as Kylo, and lived.” The General explained. “If there is anyone who can tell me if there is hope for Ben, it would be you Poe.”

Poe looked down at his hands in his lap. They were shaking again. He clasped them together as he tried to come up with an answer for the both of them.

“General, I honestly don't know how to put into words what he is anymore,” Poe started. “Hiding behind that mask, I couldn't recognize him. He was twisted, and unpredictable...He wanted to enjoy the pain he caused, it was as if I could almost sense that from him… He needed to hurt me…”

Poe paused and took a deep unsteady breath. It was like he could physically feel his wounds reopening all over again.

The General walked over and sat down on Poe's bed, care to not let her legs brush up against his battered body. She lightly put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I'm so sorry Poe, I should've stopped him from doing all of this.”

“General, why are you apologizing?” Poe asked. “No one could have stopped him, it's not like we could've predicted he personally would've captured me.”

She responded hesitantly, “I know I couldn't have stop him now but… I could've stopped him back then. I saw him that last night, heading to you. He had your jacket. I had never seen him so calm and focused before. My gut told me to drag him away from you but I had hoped that you could tame his dark heart… Help bring him back to the light like no one else had been able to do.

“I don't know what he did to you that night and I'd rather not know,” she continued. “I only remember hearing you yell his name the next morning. Then he was gone, and I've watched you attempt to recover. But after all these years Poe, you've forced yourself to be alone and for that I will always be sorry. You didn't deserve to be in solitude because of fear.”

Poe shook his head. The General really didn't know him.

“You've got it wrong General,” Poe muttered. “He didn't hurt me… I hurt him that night. I can't forget the things I did and said to Ben. I am scared... scared of hurting someone like that again, when I lost control of myself… and I think I might have pushed him past his breaking point..."

“Poe, I'm sure he may have made you think you--"

“General don't you see I wanted him?” Poe looked up at her, “And I think I still do?”

She took a moment to let that sink in. “I want him back too, Poe. I'd be willing to do almost anything to get my son back to the light. The question is, do you think he can come back?”

A mass of memories flooded to Poe's mind. The first time he saw the look in Ben's wide eyes when he realized that he wanted Poe. That innocent smile that he tried to hide every time Poe complimented him. The pink hue his cheeks turned whenever he would show Poe affection, like he wasn't sure if he should or not. But, there was also that realization of rejection in his eyes when Poe pushed him away. The fear that was painted on his face when he knew Poe would leave him. Then the anger. Anger that had taken over and became Kylo Ren.

“Leia, the man that tortured me in the Finalizer, that wasn't Ben. He had been consumed by rage and that's all I could see. I have to tell myself that it was only Kylo that could do that.” Poe closed his eyes, the memories too painful now. “If Ben could do that to me, then I don't know if I can live with myself…”

She squeezed his shoulder. “Why not?”

“I-” Poe was holding back tears. “I love him, Leia. I've only ever wanted him since he left. And after seeing him again I realized that I still do. And I can't live with myself because I know exactly what he is!”

Poe put his face back into his shaking hands, wanting to disappear after admitting his darkest secret. He couldn't stand his desire for Ben, wishing he could just cut out that part of his heart. Poe would give almost anything to not feel anything for Ben Solo.

He felt Leia stand up from the bed as walk toward the door. He looked back at her as she spoke before leaving.

“Get some sleep Dameron, we'll need your help with recovering your droid,” she paused before stepping out.

“I truly hope what you said about Kylo is wrong… Because if it isn't, then you and I are both lost…”

 

 

 

 

  



	10. Chapter 10

During what he assumed was the next day, Poe was awoken from a heavy sleep by a notification on his personal holopad that was on the floor next to his bed. He yawned and rubbed his eyes while the low beeping kept up, not overly loud, but enough to want him to quiet it immediately. Stretching out his arm he grabbed the pad with his extended fingers and pulled it across the floor closer to him. He flipped it around, reading that the General was summoning him.

_Maybe she has the plans ready to go to back Jakku and find that droid I lost…_

He carefully got out of bed, stretching out his body and assessing his soreness. According to the time on his holopad, he had been on and off sleeping for more than twelve hours and he was finally starting to feel better. Who would've guessed that rest and not constantly trying to escape from a relentless enemy would be good for the healing process.

Poe changed into a casual outfit for the day, then went to reach for his jacket in its normal spot on the back of the chair that he usually hung it on.

_Oh, I lost that too.._

He dismissed the thought from his mind. There was nothing he could do about it, so he might as well stop moping over what he couldn't change. He'd spent the past half day feeling depressed and defeated, and he was sick of it. He might be fucked up and stuck in a situation with no solution, but that didn't mean he had to act like it.

He stepped into the bathroom to wash his face. Poe was glad to see the black eye was almost completely faded, and he had a little more life in his eyes. He nearly looked like his old self again. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to tame the unruly curls to some extent before he went back to his life in the Resistance. He smirked at himself in the mirror. _I got this._

The first place Poe headed for after leaving his room was the mess hall. Nothing in the General's message suggested a time that Poe should meet her, and he hadn't eaten in days. While in his slump, he hadn't wanted to leave his room, and refused to asked for anyone to bring him something, then have them see the state he was in…

The General would understand if he was a few minutes late.

As he walked through the doors into the Resistance’s makeshift mess hall, Poe was immediately greeted with a wall of noise and people. Black squadron, his handpicked team of trusted friends, had been seated just inside the doors and nearly attacked Poe, they were so excited to see him alive!

“Alright guys, one at a time!” Poe laughed through the greetings and questions and the giant group hug he found himself in the middle of. “I'm still working on fixing a broken rib here!”

His friends quickly pulled Poe over to their table, pushing food towards him while asking him question after question about his capture and escape. Around mouthfuls of food, Poe told them a more lighthearted version of his adventure. He made sure to tell his friends about the jokes he made at the troopers, something he'd left out of his debriefing.

“You actually asked the Stormtrooper if they were lost?!” Karé asked exasperated. “Right after they hit you?”

“Yes but that was before they broke my rib,” Poe replied casually as he tore meat from a bone with his fingers, then popped it into his mouth. “After that, one of the bucketheads said they were getting somewhere with me, to which I let them know I had no intentions of going anywhere with him, unless he bought me a drink first.” Poe winked to accentuate his story, causing the now growing number of pilots listening to him to roar in laughter.

“But this is the craziest part of the whole story,” Poe said dramatically, purposely skipping over the bit when Kylo messed him up pretty badly then forced him to betray the Resistance, “after they got bored torturing me, I was left there with a guard. At this point I figured they'd most likely execute me, unless they're into keeping Resistance pilots around as punching bags. Then a some stormtrooper walks in, says that he's got orders to transfer me somewhere else. No one questioned him, they just cuffed me and handed me over.

“Not a minute later, while walking down a deserted hallway he shoves me into a sort of alcove, takes off his mask and tells me that he's rescuing me! A stormtrooper turned rebel! Of all the insane things I've been through, that had to be thee most unpredictable yet!”

“--I don't buy it Poe--”

“--had to be one of ours--”

“--Stormtroopers don't turn traitor for the Resistance--”

Poe stuffed half of a bread roll into his mouth before folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. “We don't have anyone on board any First Order ships, especially not the Finalizer. It's the truth guys, a stormtrooper is the only reason why I'm alive today. And that's why I'm hoping to get back to Jakku to try and find the poor kid. He deserves a little humanity after being stuck on the Finalizer for who knows how long. Did you know they just number the troopers? No names or anything.”

“So you just had to call him by his serial number or whatever?” Snaps asked.

“Nah, I wasn't going to keep using that. I gave him a name and he decided to use it. I really can't wait for you all to meet Finn. He figured out how to shoot from a TIE fighter like it was nothing, and it was his first time in one! A lot of potential talent, right there. He's got a good heart too, I can tell.” Poe nodded as he was tempted to lick his now empty plate clean. “I mean, he risked his own life to save mine, a total stranger and potential enemy. So I've got to go back and get him! I'd be the worst if I left him out there as a sad thank you. I just hope the First Order hasn't caught up to him on that sandbox of a planet…”

Pava giggled at him. “It almost sounds like you and this Finn are more than just friends, Poe. You talk about him like you know him and you've only just met him.” She teased.

Poe raised an eyebrow at her and smirked, “It's nothing like that Pava. Right after we got the TIE we were shot down halfway back to Jakku, and we got separated. Although,” Poe paused. “Finn really was too good looking to be hidden behind that helmet now that I think about it.”

One again everyone laughed and groaned at Poe's joke. _He was more than just a little cute though_ , Poe thought as he began to stand up.

“Alright guys, I gotta meet up with the General,” Poe explained. “I promise I'll be right back here around midday though, I've missed a few too many meals this week.”

Poe did hurry to the General, realizing he had spent more time that he intended to in the mess hall. Getting some food in him was making him feel more energized, and even more optimistic. He was seriously regretting not leaving his room sooner.

When he arrived in the main briefing area, the General, along with a few of her advisors, were gathered around a large projected map of Jakku. Poe smiled, glad to see they were taking him seriously and were planning on going back.

The General turned and saw Poe, gesturing him over to her side.

“I've got some good news for you, Dameron,” the General said as soon as he was in earshot. “But it also come with a little bad news.”

“Of course,” Poe responded lightly, “it always comes that way. So what's going on?”

“As of right now, all reports indicate that the First Order does not have your droid and--” she had to speak louder over Poe's loud ‘whoop’ of joy. “--according to an intercepted message from the First Order, they're currently looking for a BB Unit, accompanied by two fugitives, that escaped Jakku on a Corellian YT Freighter.”

“Two fugitives?” Poe questioned.

“From what we know, one of them is a girl? But we don't have any other information on the second fugitive. The details of the First Order message are only about your droid.”

Poe knew he was grinning like an idiot. _How in the world did BB manage to find two people to help him off of Jakku?_

“You said, that BeeBee escaped on a YT Freighter?”

“Dameron I know what you're thinking and the answer is no,” she replied a little sharply. “It wasn't Capta--I mean, it wasn't Han Solo that got the droid. Han managed to loose the Falcon years ago. It's just a coincidence, nothing more.”

Her tone indicated that he was not to pursue that line of questioning anymore.

“Alright. So, what's the plan?”

Leia shrugged at him. “We wait. We already sent out a message of our own to our allies and we've got a couple of pilots running recon around the nearby systems waiting to see if they get a sighting of the ship.”

Poe frowned slightly. “When did you have the time to do all this? I only got your message an hour ago.”

“We may have received word about the escaped droid before then…” she was trying not to smirk at him, Poe could tell. “You needed time to recover and there was no point in telling you when there was nothing you could do.”

“How long ago?”

“Five, maybe six standard hours ago?” The General replied, averting her eyes.

Normally Poe would be quite angry over being left out of a mission that involved him personally, but he knew the General was looking out for his best interests. There really was nothing he could do, and he knew he would've been stressed out if his mind if he did know BB-8 was out there and he just had to wait.

_At least now I have less waiting to do._

Poe shrugged off his annoyance at being kept in the dark and nodded at the General. “Understood General. Now, what do you need me to do while we wait for word on that ship's location?”

“I need you and all essential squadrons to be ready to leave at a moment's notice.” She replied, all business now. “We don't know when or where that ship will reappear and we all have to be prepared for a possible fight. We must get BeeBee-ate and the map he carries back to this base. I shouldn't have to remind you how important--”

The General was cut off by a sharp alarm going off from her personal console. She quickly quieted it and read the encrypted message. Poe watched as her eyes grew wide and her jaw literally dropped.

“General? What happened?!” Poe asked desperately.

Leia shook her head, and reread the message, her lips silently forming around the words.

She looked around at everyone in the room in disbelief before setting her gaze back on Poe. “It's another message, this one sent to the First Order. The droid avoided capture again… and is on board the Millennium Falcon... with _Han Solo_.”

**********************************

Poe was really trying to get his X-Wing prepared for take-off, knowing the order could come at any minute. It wasn't his fault that everyone in the Resistance wanted to hear about his escape directly from him. The one part of the story that he kept retelling over and over was about the renegade stormtrooper who unexpectedly saved Poe from a fate most assuredly worse than death.

He was determined to make sure everyone in the Resistance knew his name. Finn was a hero, and when they finally found him on Jakku Poe wanted to make sure he was treated like one.

Poe himself wouldn't be the one to go and retrieve him from Jakku unfortunately, since the First Order would still be looking specifically for him. He gave the most detailed description that he could to the group that would be going to search the planet. He noticed Pava rolling her eyes as Poe was explaining his overall demeanor and personality.

_Okay maybe I've been telling them a couple extra details that they don't necessarily need…_

Poe was triple checking the pilot's coordinates for the position he believed to be closest to where he set down the TIE when lieutenant Connix came running out from the hangar. Poe immediately stood up and quickly closed the distance to her.

“What's happened lieutenant?” Poe asked, knowing the General would only send her if she had important news.

“We think we may have found your droid, Dameron,” she responded breathlessly. “The First Order has just sent multiple ships to Takodana, and we believe we have a confirmed sighting of the droid there in a pirate castle.”

_Pirate castle? Doesn't matter now--_ “Do you have our orders? Are we being sent there?”

“Yes,” Connix handed over a holopad with coordinates to the system. “You will lead all remaining X-Wing squadrons to the planet first, and deal with any enemies in the air. Ground forces will follow once you've taken out the threat from above. It's a short flight from here, and the General is expecting you to not waste any time showing off.”

Poe smirked at the half joke, thanked her for the information and headed back to his X-Wing, where the rest of the squad leaders had already gathered.

“Alright, this is it!” Poe said excitedly despite the risks that lay ahead of them. “We've got a confirmed sighting of BeeBee-ate, but we can also expect the First Order to already be searching for him when we arrive. We gotta take out as many ships as possible, and provide any support we can from the air! Any questions? No? Let's do this, team!”

They briefly cheered and then headed to their respective ships. Poe had already loaded up his temporary astromech droid and was glad to see that it had already began Black Ones start up sequence. R0-H2 was a decent droid, but it had been ages since Poe had used it on Black One. Plus, BB would not be happy about another droid filling in, no matter how desperate the need.

He checked in one last time with his squad, before they all lifted off, accelerating quickly past the planet's atmosphere. He double checked Black Squadrons hyperspace coordinates, making sure they all were going to the same place. Within minutes of receiving  their orders, they were all ready to go.

“Okay guys, this is it! I'll see ya on--” an emergency message interrupted Poe's command. It was from the General.

“Black Leader, Resistance pilots, this is General Leia Organa. I'm afraid I have devastating news.”

_I've got a bad feeling about this._

We have just received news that some sort of Super weapon was used against Hosnian Prime, and the surrounding planets in the Hosnian system.” There was a pause. “The New Republic is gone.”

Poe sat back in his seat. The other fighters were equally silent, in shock from such unexpected news.

“We don't know what did this, but we expect the First Order must control this weapon. Your orders still remain the same with one added point: Do not fail us. The Resistance may be the Galaxy's last hope. May the Force be with you.”

Poe stared at his console for a moment, trying to comprehend the massive loss they just suffered. The billions of lives that were just gone was incomprehensible. _How could the First Order just execute the innocent like that?_

A renewed determination rose within him. The First Order would pay for this. “You heard the General,” Poe spoke fiercely into his comm, “we will not fail her! Let's take out as many of those bastards as we can! Everyone, in formation! We’re jumping to lightspeed on my mark!”

Poe counted down then watched the stars stretch around him. He tried to calm himself, knowing that he needed to focus on the mission at hand or risk losing this fight. He barely listened the the chatter between the other fighters over the comm, he didn't need their anger and fear fueling his own.

_Take out the First Order on Takodana, get BB-8, and get back to the base in one piece. Those are the first steps to winning this war._

Poe got his focus back just in time. Connix wasn't kidding when she said it was a short jump to Takodana. Soon the stars stretched then snapped back into place, the large green and blue planet appearing before them.

“Poe, look starboard.” Pava whispered over the comms.

He glanced over his shoulder, and saw in the distant stars a red burst of light. He realized that was Hosnian Prime, no longer a planet but just space debris.

“Come on, time to focus on the mission at hand.” Poe stated, needing all of team on the same page. “We all know where we're headed, all units stay in formation until we engage the enemy.”

After all the squad leaders checked in, they sped through the atmosphere, and skimmed the planet's long inland sea, following it to the location they were given. Soon, TIE fighters were popping up on Poe's long range scanners. He smiled to himself. Poe was back in his element, flying and fighting had always been the exact kind of challenge he craved, and he couldn't help but get excited at the new threat ahead.

Soon they were practically on top of the battlefield, the building that once stood there was now a smoking wreck. He could begin tonsee the massive amount of destruction the First Order had cause from this far out. They would put an end to that.

“All ships, S-foils in attack position!” Poe commanded, pulling forward in the lead position. “Go straight at ‘em! Don't let these thugs scare you!”

“Copy that!”

“We're with ya Poe!”

Poe pulled on the yolk, pushing his X-Wing faster, now hungry for the fight.

“Dameron! What're ya aiming for today?” Snap jokingly called out over the comms.

It's been awhile since I've made a new goal for myself.

“Lookin’ for a perfect streak today guys,” Poe responded confidently. “I'm not going to waste one shot!”

Pava laughed, “Everyone be on the lookout for stray bolts, Dameron thinks none of them will be his!”

The squad shared a laugh as the pilots on the outer edge of the formation broke off, being closest to the first of the TIEs to come their way.

As they entered the main battle, Poe saw civilian prisoners scattered within the ranks of stormtroopers. _I'll fix that._

“Snap, Pava, cover me from above for a sec--I'm going to see what I can do to thin out the ground troops!”

Poe flew dangerously low to the ground as he took aim and shot down one-two-three and four troopers that were guarding prisoners. He quickly pulled up and made a tight left to return to the main dogfight.

With adrenaline pumping through his veins, Poe felt himself stepping into his stride. As he flew over the ground forces he swiftly took out his first TIE. Banking right Poe took down a second, then a third and fourth in rapid succession. R0 was then beeping at him, alarmed, there was a TIE locking onto his position. He quickly forced Black One into a tight barrel roll, taking out the TIE that had been gunning for him As he straightened out and flew through the smoke and debris that followed the explosion.

Wasting no time he got another ship in his sights that had begun fleeing away from him.

“I don't think so buddy!” He shouted as he took another ship out of the air with his perfectly aimed shots.

He was too close to the ground again. Right before he pulled up he saw a group of stormtroopers gathered together. He grinned as he shot the ground at their feet, taking out those enemies as he pulled the ship up and back around. In the seconds he was left upside down by the maneuver he took out another TIE that had been trying to aim at him from behind. He quickly righted the ship and took a hard right, resulting in another downed TIE.

Another TIE was heading toward him head on, practically inviting Poe to a clear shot. He easily dodged the blast aimed at his ship and returned fire, taking the enemy out of the fight. Poe flew back around the battle ground, and shot down another TIE that was aiming at the escaping civilians.

“Woohoo!” Poe couldn't help but shout in his cockpit! Ten TIEs down in a row with every shot a hit! That was definitely a new record!

“Calm down Dameron and leave some for the rest of us,” Pava called out, Poe swore he could hear her rolling her eyes at him.

“Not a chance Pava!” Poe called back. “Alright squads, get these TIEs spread out! We've got a lot of civilians trying to escape and we don't want to let the enemy close enough to see they've got new targets!”

Poe kept himself close to ground, taking out another two TIEs that attempted to close in on his position. As he made a wide sweeping turn around the beach, he noticed all the enemy ships were retreating. Confused he scanned the rest of the area, confirming that the enemy was retreating. From behind him, his droid pointed out a larger ship taking off from the ground.

He turned his ship around as quickly as he could, hoping he'd be able to take this one out too before it could escape.

As he came about, he saw a First Order command ship streaking away from the battle, accompanied by a half a dozen TIEs. As determined as he was to bring down a few high ranking officers that he was sure was inside, he was getting more than a few calls for assistance from the squads that had run into trouble during the battle.

What ultimately made him turn his X-Wing away from the chase was the call that Leia herself was arriving planetside. His priority was always protecting the General first. Almost regretfully, Poe turned and began to fly in a wide circle around Leia’s ship, when he got a private message from her.

“Dameron, you alright?”

“All is well up here, General,” he responded. “We've still got a few ships engaged in battle but all have made it through with minimal damage according to all who've checked in.”

“Good to hear Dameron. Now I need you to take your essential pilots back to D’Qar, I don't like having it undefended like this--”

“But have you located BeeBee--”

“Dameron, I'll take of things here.” she interrupted forcefully. “I need to go. Follow your orders and get back to the base.”

He heard the comm line click off, forcing the end of the conversation. As spontaneous and hot headed as everyone made him out to be, Poe wouldn't disobey a direct order like that. He did his best to suppress the frustration rising within him about not being about to find BB-8. The General always had her reasons for doing things her way and she hadn't steered him wrong yet.

Poe asked for one final assessment of the X-Wing squadron and was very pleased with what he heard. No starfighters lost that day, and the damage suffered was mostly superficial to the ships. He ordered just a handful of pilots to stay behind and had the rest follow him back to D’Qar. He was glad to hear on his comm that only a few moments after they broke the planet's atmosphere that Leia's command ship and the Millennium Falcon had also begun their ascent.

“Alright team,” Poe spoke into his comm, readjusting his hyperspace coordinates. “Once we get back to base, I'd like blue and gold squads to stay up with me and wait for the Generals ship so we can escort her plantside. The rest of the teams, head back to base and get any damaged X-Wings back to being space worthy. I've got a feeling we'll be back in the thick of it soon enough.”

Everyone checked in with their acknowledgment of their commands. Poe closed his his eyes felt the adrenaline still pumping through him from his battle-high. It had been too good of a successful fight to not take a moment to revel in it. Poe admitted to himself, _it feels good to be the best pilot at least_ , as he made the jump to lightspeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Poe watched as the General’s ship landed outside the Resistance’s hangar. Certain that she could handle herself from there, Poe carefully set down his own ship on the tarmac, having to be wary of all the activity that the was happening around him. With the attack on Takodana and the destruction of the Hosnian system, the whole base was an explosion of movement as they planned their next move.

He did one last check on his X-Wing's systems, making sure everything was in order before throwing a leg over the side of the cockpit and climbed down off of his ship. Waiting for him at the bottom was a Resistance engineer.

“Black One take any damage today, sir?” He asked as he extended his hands, offering to take Poe’s helmet.

“Nope, no one could touch her!” Poe lightly bragged as he took off his helmet. He had just handed his helmet over when over the buzz of noise around him he heard the excited beeping of a droid that was instantly recognizable.

Turning his head all he saw was a blur of white and orange rolling over towards him at top speed

“BeeBee-ate my buddy!” Poe exclaimed with a huge grin in his face as the droid made his way to him.

He knelt down to BB’s level trying to keep up with the droid’s fast binary speak.

“Beepbeep brworp boopbeet!”

Poe chuckled, “It’s so good to see you!”

“Blip borp-wrop beepbleet bloot!”

_Did I hear him right?!_

“Finn saved you?” Poe asked dumbstruck. _My Finn?_ “Where is he?”

Then, as if on perfect cue he heard a voice calling him from not too far away. “Poe?!”

Not thinking he could grin any wider, he stood up as he saw his lost friend approaching “Oooh no,” he said in disbelief. Poe began running to Finn with BB-8 following closely. _How is he here?!_

“Poe Dameron you're alive?” Finn shouted as he ran toward Poe, a smile now appearing on his face too.

“Buddy!” Poe shouted and he flung his arms around Finn and hugged him as hard as he could. “So are you!” He replied with a laugh.

“What happened to you?” Finn asked, he kept a grip on Poe's arm as he took a step back.

“What happened?” Poe realized he was still gripping Finn's arm as well, almost afraid he was going to lose him again. “I got thrown from the crash! I woke up at night--no you, no ship, no nothing!” Poe still couldn't believe Finn was here! _I have a million questions to ask him!_ “BeeBee-ate says that you saved him!”

“No no, it wasn't just me!” Finn replied.

“You completed my mission Finn,” Poe said gratefully, relieved that this man had literally redeemed Poe’s failures. He glanced down real quick, and noticed-- “That's my jacket.”

_How did Finn get my jacket?_

“Oh!” Finn replied surprised, and quickly moved to take it off and return it.

“No no no no,” Poe interrupted, pulling the jacket back onto Finn. “Keep it, it suits you.” Poe bit his lip as he clapped him on the shoulder. The jacket looked much better on Finn than it had ever looked on himself.

“You're a good man Finn,” Poe meant every word. He had never met anyone quite like the man in front of him.

“Poe, I need your help,” Finn asked, a hint of desperation in his words.

“Of course! Anything!” Poe replied without hesitation. “You just name it!”

“My friend, Rey, she was captured by the First Order,” Finn began to explain. “She’s the one that helped me get BeeBee-ate off of Jakku. Ren captured her back on Takodana.”

_Kylo was there?_

“I'm almost positive they're taking her to Star Killer Base! If he knows she saw the map, he won't risk keeping her on the Finalizer again after what happened with you and me.”

“Star Killer?” Poe questioned.

Finn nodded solemnly, “It's the base that destroyed the Republic.”

“Wait, you have information on that weapon?” Poe asked, eyes widening in surprise. “Do you know where to find it?”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can,” Finn answered. “I used to work on the base.”

Poe couldn't believe what he was hearing. Finn was turning out to be a bigger hero than he had probably planned on being. “Come with me Finn, we're going to go and talk with the General. If there's anyone that can help get your friend back it'll be her.”

Poe put a hand on Finn’s shoulder, and started leading him towards the command center of the base where he was sure to find the General. He looked over Finn, glad to see that it seemed that he made it off of Jakku in one piece. Speaking of--

“So how'd you make it off Jakku?” Poe asked. “You've got to have a pretty good story for me.”

Finn laughed, “I don't know if it's a good story, but, I woke up in the desert alone. The TIE had crashed not too far from me so I rushed over to find you. The ship was in pretty bad shape, most of it had caught fire. I reached in through the broken view port and pulled out your jacket. Before I could do anything else the TIE began to sink into the sand, I couldn't get back into it….” Finn paused and looked away from Poe. “I thought you died in there... That I had rescued you off the Finalizer only to get you killed….”

Poe felt his heart drop. The poor kid had been carrying that guilt this whole time?

“Don't worry about it Finn.” He told him lightly, “You did more than enough helping me and, well, clearly Jakku couldn't claim me that easily.”

Finn did smile and even chuckled. “So after the TIE disappeared then exploded, I started walking. I knew I had to find people to find water. I chucked off all of my old armor and eventually found myself in some ramshackle town. That's when I saw a white and orange droid with a girl. I'm glad you told me the color of you droid, otherwise I wouldn't have known it was BeeBee-ate.

“Not a moment later, the troopers caught up to us and we were running for our lives. Rey got us out of there just in time. It's her you'll have to thank for saving BeeBee-ate, not me.”

Poe was about to argue when they reached the bases entrance. He made a mental note to make sure Finn knew how grateful he was for his efforts to get his droid back.

“The General should be right down here, Finn,” Poe said as he lead them down a narrow staircase that lead to the main briefing room.

He spotted Leia almost immediately and headed straight to her, ignoring the curious looks a few people were directing at him and his new companion.   
  
“General Organa,” Poe started as soon as he was next to her. “Sorry to interrupt-” _not really, but_ “-this is Finn. He needs to talk to you.”

“And I need to talk to him,” the General replied. “That was incredibly brave what you did. Renouncing the First Order, saving this man's life!”

“Thank you ma’am,” Finn said hurriedly. “But a friend of mine was taken prisoner.”

Leia answered solemnly, “Han told me about the girl. I'm sorry.”

“Finn’s familiar with the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian System,” Poe interjected, “he worked on the base!”

“We’re desperate for anything you can tell us,” the General nearly begged Finn.

“That's where my friend was taken, I've got to get there fast!”

The General nodded quickly. “And I will do everything I can to help you, but first you've got to tell us all you know!”

“Alright,” Finn agreed, “what do you need? I can provide the approximate location of the planet, and where each base on the planet is placed, but I don't have all the exact specifications--”

“One moment, Finn,” Leia interrupted. “Dameron, please oversee the repairs of the fleet, and get them ready for a mission to Star Killer Base.”

“Yes, General,”

“Finn, come with me, I'll need to give you my full attention for this.”

Poe watched as the General escorted Finn away from the crowded room. Poe had to suppress the want to follow them, he was interested in everything Finn had to say. He also didn't like Finn being out of his sight. Poe knew he was being paranoid but he felt that somehow he would end up losing Finn again. He sighed to himself as he made his way up back to the hangar, knowing that while he was with Leia, he was in good hands.

***********************************

Poe stood up and stretched, taking a momentary break from cleaning out Black One’s exhaust systems. It had been a long day preparing the fleet for the next mission, and night had fallen before he ordered them back to their bunks. After getting most of the kinks out of his neck, he re-tied the top of his flight suit around his waist, while also putting more oil and smudge marks across the white tank top he wore.

He glanced at the star studded night sky, hoping for a sign that Snaps was returning to theD’Qar. The General had sent him earlier in the day to scout out Star Killer Base, using the information Finn gave the Resistance so they could hopefully get more information on what they would be facing. Poe didn't like the idea of sending anyone but himself on such a dangerous mission, but he understood why he had to stay behind: if he was captured again, there would be no doubt that he wouldn't escape a second time. He was needed here to lead the fleet when the time came to take down the enemy.

Poe kneeled back down and carefully reattached the panel covering the inner workings of his starship. He gently ran a hand across the seam, silently thanking the X-Wing for getting him through another mission unscathed. To most the starship was just, well, a starship. But to Poe, Black One was a little more, an extension of himself he used to win battles and defend his squad. It was also a connection to his late mother, who had taught him a love of flying.

Even though his mother, Shara Bey, had been gone for many years, Poe still thought about her often. He liked to think that somehow, her spirit was among the stars, where she had always been free and happy. He looked up to those stars again, giving himself a moment to pause from his work and just think.

Poe continued to sit on the hard tarmac, his arms loosely hugging his knees, while he stared out into the black sky and wondered what it would be like when they had peace in the galaxy once again. While it was the goal he was working toward, Poe couldn't help but know that he would still be looking for a fight. When he was flying for the New Republic, they had an illusion of peace and it had been incredibly uneventful. Poe had jumped at the chance to stand with the Resistance as soon as a place for him was offered, knowing he'd be able to join the thick of the fight that the New Republic had been hesitant to acknowledge, let alone participate in.

Even with all the doubts he had about the future, Poe was glad to know that his parents would always proud that he wanted to continue to fight for what was right in the Galaxy. They both hadn't fought against the Empire to then have their son fight against a newer, more sinister version of their enemy, but his dad had continued to tell him on multiple occasions that--

“What are you humming?” A voice asked softly from behind him, startling Poe out of his thoughts.

Poe turned his head to see Finn standing behind him, looking exhausted. Poe grinned in surprise, he hadn't seen Finn since he left with the General and was glad that he had found him out here.

“Hey buddy! What're you doing out here?” Genuinely excited to see him again. “It's the middle of night and I would've expected you to need some well deserved rest after having the General grill you all day.”

Finn just nodded slightly for a moment. “It has been a long day… but you're out here too, you know. It been just as long as a day for you too”

Poe chuckled. “Ya caught me! Come on, sit down for a moment. I got the best seats in the house.” Poe invited, patting the ground next to him.

Finn smiled and sat down next to Poe. Poe was surprised that he was sitting so close that their shoulders constantly touched. He wasn't uncomfortable with the closeness, in fact Poe found that it was oddly reassuring. It had been too long since he had let even a friend this close to him.

“You didn't answer my question,” Finn said with a small smile. “What were you humming? I could practically hear you from across the hangar.”

Poe hoped it was dark enough to cover up the blush that was warming his cheeks. It had been a long time since he'd been caught with a song coming from him.

“It was just a tune my mother taught me,” Poe answered. “I honestly hadn't realized I had been humming it until you said something. I used to do it all the time…” Poe trailed off, remembering the days before he had been trapped in his own mind by his actions with Ben, when he had been happier and carefree. It was almost shocking that he had let down his emotional guard long enough for his subconscious to bring that old song back to him.

“It's nice hearing music, even if it's just your humming,” Finn admitted. “I've only heard music a few times, most during training in areas close enough to people that had the privilege of being able to play it.”

Poe shook his head in disbelief. “I can't believe all the shit you've had to put up with Finn. I'm beyond happy that we both got out of there. Whatever I can do to help you start a new life outside of the First Order, I'll do it. It's the least I can do after you saved me.”

“I've noticed, you’ve been quick to trust me, right from the beginning,” Finn said, raising his eyebrow at the pilot. “You don't know me, yet you're not giving me the sideways glances I've seen everyone else giving me today. I'm not saying I like the suspicion, but they're smart to not trust a traitor.”

“Finn, you'll never be a traitor here, not to me,” Poe argued fervently. “You got me off that Star Destroyer! You have no idea the hell I was about to go through if it hadn't been for you! I trusted you then, and I still trust you now. You're a real hero, a hero that's about to risk his skin on another rescue mission. And that deserves some recognition.”

Poe put his hand on top of Finns to reassure him, and was surprised again when Finn gripped his hand back tightly.

“I don't know if I can do this, Poe,” Finn confessed suddenly. “What if I can't save Rey? It was only dumb luck that you survived, but I honestly couldn't save you… I don't know what I'll do if Ren decides he's done with her before we can get there.”

“We'll get her back Finn,” Poe reassured him. “Once we confirm the location of the base the Resistance will do everything they can to get Rey. If she's a friend of yours, she's a friend of ours. I made it clear to everyone on base that you're one of us now, and we will always do anything for one of our own.”

Poe watched as Finn's expression remained unchanged, he eyes moving away from Poe’s to stare at the ground.

“It sounds impossible, believe me I know,” Poe explained gently. “But you've got to hold on to hope. I would've given up ages ago and would be long gone if I didn't keep grasping at the smallest bit of hope that I could make it through.”

Poe grasped Finn's hand even tighter. “If you can rescue a hopeless case like me, survive on a desert planet, find the one single droid that just might be the key to defeating the First Order and then bring that droid back to its top secret base by commandeering the Millennium Falcon, then Finn, I think you can do anything.”

He was pleased to see the smallest smile appear on Finn in response. Finn looked up to the sky, and seemed to contemplate what Poe has just told him. They sat there in silence for a while, both gazing at the endless starry night above them. Glancing at Finn, Poe was glad to see a shift in him and that he could now see that hope he needed in his eyes.

Poe continued to stare off into the distance above him, ready to spend the whole night with his new friend if that was what he needed. He couldn't remember the last time being content sharing a comfortable silence in another person's presence.

“Did you really steal another First Order ship to get off of Jakku?” Finn asked, eventually breaking the quiet.

Poe laughed. “I did! Sorry to say but it's clear that not all stormtroopers are created equal. It was because of their inability to work together that got me into that ship in the first place. They had none of your smarts, that's for sure.”

Finn laughed at that as well. “I’m positive they were all on edge after my stunt. As far as I know I'm the first one to have escaped the Order. I would guess that the rest are either blind with rage or even possibly questioning themselves and what they're doing.”

“They did seem thrown off their game to me,” Poe recalled. “Hey! I wanted to ask you! Did you have a nickname? When you were in the Order?”

“A nickname?” Finn questioned.

“Yeah! One of the troopers went by ‘Doublefirst’ or something. I thought it was kinda crazy the Order would allow that kind of familiarity among their ranks.”

Finn shook his head. “Ah, yeah, a lot of those names we gave each other were usually based on our numbered designations. One of the troopers in the squad under me went by ‘Nines’, solely because he had a lot of nines in his designation. But we also had ‘Slips’ in my team as well. He got that name because, to be honest, he was a lousy trooper. He was almost my friend, I think… not that it matters now.”

“Why not?” Poe asked. “Of there are others that might question the First Order--”

“It's not that,” Finn interrupted. “Slips died back on Jakku, when Ren found you”

Poe felt his throat tighten up. He was responsible for a number of stormtroopers deaths in that village. “I'm sorry,” Poe whispered, _sorry for your loss and sorry for the part I might have played in it._

Finn shrugged. “Dying is just a risk we all take as soldiers.” He stated indifferently.

“Yeah, well, it should at least be by your own choice,” Poe replied back quietly, trying his best to keep his bitterness for the First Order out of his voice.

After a moment Poe decided this isn't the topic that he wanted to end their evening on. He nudged Finn’s shoulder with his own. “Hopefully Snap will be back with information on Star Killer soon. I don't plan on you losing another friend on my watch.”

“I hope Rey is alright,” Finn replied, more speaking to himself than to Poe at this point. “I do have this crazy feeling though that she's planning on giving Ren hell. She's a survivor, I learned that right away about her.”

“To me she sounds a lot like you, you know,” Poe smiled at Finn. “Come on, you've had a hard day. You should get some sleep, gotta make sure you're rested enough to get Rey back.”

Finn stood up and pulled Poe up with him. Poe had forgotten until that moment that their hands had still been intertwined.

“If I gotta go, so should you,” Finn said matter of factly, but with a grin on his face.

Poe faked a groan and rolled his eyes sarcastically. “Now I'm being given a bed time? Why would you do that?”

“Well, someone's gotta look out for you, Poe.” Finn replied truthfully. Those words affected Poe more than they should have. Poe knew he wasn't looking out for himself most of the time…

Finn’s hand slid out from Poe’s, and Poe quickly regretted the loss of contact. Finn gave him a final smile before he headed back to the base. As Poe watched him leave he had an unfamiliar urge to catch him and keep Finn with him the rest of the night.

_Maybe I don't have to be alone._

Poe smiled ruefully at himself. It was made clear by Finns focus and determination to get Rey back from the First Order that Poe wasn't his type.

Poe was okay with that. he could use a friend. He didn't have to be alone and isolate himself, possibly allowing himself to have this friend to maybe someday confide in and be close with. He was realizing that Finn was giving him that sliver of hope that he desperately wanted for himself and his future.

He watched Finn disappear back into the base, putting some distance between them before following the same path. As he walked back to his room, he admitted that the hope Finn was restoring within him was what Poe needed most to stop him from falling back into his own darkness.

And to hopefully stop his heart from wanting to go back to Kylo.

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Poe could tell it was too early for him to be awake already. For once in his life he had been able to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Of course his mind and body wouldn't allow him to enjoy it for long.

He rolled over then smiled to himself, happy to see his BB Unit back on his charging station in his room. The droid was currently in low power mode, but Poe could see a dull red light slowly blinking, indicating it was wasn't quite at full power yet. The little droid’s journey on Jakku must've taken a lot out of him.

“Jakku took a lot out of the both of us, Buddy,” he whispered quietly.

Poe let his eyes wander around the dimly lit room, grateful for the first nightmare free night he'd had since returning to the base. He pressed lightly at the stitches that had already began to dissolve around his head wound, surprised at how quickly the injuries he received were fading away. Soon he would look like as if nothing had happened. Poe hoped his mental state would recover just as quickly as his physical one.

_Nope. Don't start thinking about him. It's too early to ruin your own day._

Poe dismissed the creeping dark thoughts as he sat up in bed, deciding to get a head start on the day. He hadn't received word about Snap returning from his flight, but Poe wanted to be ready when he did. Pushing himself out of his bed, Poe made his was the the ‘fresher, taking off and tossing his clothes in the process.

He turn on the shower and hopped in. He just stood there for more than a few minutes, letting the hot water pound on his still aching muscles. The adrenaline rush from yesterday's dogfight had masked the pain his body was still dealing with, making his current ache seem twice as bad. He only partially admitted to himself that he might need a break from the near death experiences every now and then.

It was inevitable that as he stood there, the gravity of yesterday's events began to weigh him down. He did well avoiding the facts yesterday, but at that moment the actions of the First Order were stirring up his anger. Five planets had been destroyed, utterly wiped from existence. As of last night the Resistance had only received a handful of reports of any citizens or ships in the system escaping the mass execution. Poe could barely begin to fathom the literal billions of lives that hand been snuffed out with the push of a button. _And all for what? Besides an open disdain for the Resistance and refusal to join the New Republic, the First Order hadn't given anyone any sort of demands prior to the attack!_

And a deep rage began to overpower Poe's sadness with his knowledge that behind the attack was Kylo--

_No, stop it. Don't dwell on that. I need to keep calm and focused. Anger is his tool, not mine._

Poe lifted his face into the steaming water and pushed his hair away from his face. With his hands gripping his sopping curls he tried to relax and clear his mind. He just wanted the near constant mental torment of Kylo to cease, even just a full day without some reminder of Poe’s connection to the twisted man would be a welcome relief. His memory constantly weighed Poe down, guilt at wanting to be with him again for some sick reason made him feel like he was dying inside.

_No one wants to hear you bitch about him anymore,_ Poe thought to himself as he finished washing up. _I got other things to focus on._

After he stepped out of the shower he quickly dried himself off and stepped into a clean orange flightsuit. He had no idea when he'd be called into action but he made sure he'd be prepared to go at any moment.

After slipping on his boots, Poe kneeled next to his loyal BB unit. Glad to see the droid was now fully charged he laid a hand on its domed head, activating it out of low power mode.

“Beep boopbop!” The droid happily beeped at Poe as its inner lights came on.

“It's good to have ya back, buddy,” Poe smiled at the droid, standing then stepping back to allowed BB-8 to roll off its charging station.

“You think you'll be up for another big mission?”

BB-8 beeped angrily back at Poe, annoyed that he thought the little droid couldn't handle whatever the pilot was talking about.

“Alright, alright,” Poe chuckled, making his way to the door. “You've made your point.”

Poe exited his room with BB-8 rolling on ahead of him as if to prove that the droid was more than ready to be called back into the line of duty. Poe just smiled and shook his head as we watched the droid roll down the hallway, still overjoyed to have him returned.

Zipping up his jumpsuit against the early morning chill, Poe decided to do one last check over his X-Wing. It was too early to do much anything else without disturbing anyone. He could hear a few other people stirring behind their doors but knew it would be another hour before the bulk of the base awoke.

BB-8 had decided to take him the long way around to the base's hangar. Poe focused on taming his still damp curls while his droid beeped and whistled to itself as he lead them through the carved rock hallways. It was so quiet and peaceful, one could forget that there was a violent and deadly war happening in the Galaxy.

As Poe absent mindedly followed his droid around a blind corner he ran straight into someone, nearly knocking them both over.

“Whoa, sorry about--Finn?!” Poe was pleasantly surprised to see off all people he ran into that it was Finn. He could help the smile that appeared on his face at the sight of him.

“Poe!” Finn replied, obviously surprised at the appeared of the pilot. “What're you doing up this early?”

Poe shrugged, “Not much of a sleeper, really.” He answered, sparing Finn the details of his sad state of mind. “But you're the one that should be sleeping, you've only just gotten back from Jakku!”

It was Finn’s turn to shrug now. “Still got the mindset of a stormtrooper. That internal alarm clock is hard to ignore after years of having it ingrained into you.”

“We’ll get you on the Resistances schedule some enough,” Poe joked, ignoring the anger directed at the First Order that started boiling inside him whenever Finn told him of what they did to him. “To be honest though, our schedule is usually complete chaos.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “Really?” He asked looking around the deserted corridor. “Looks pretty calm to--”

As if on cue, Finn flinched as a loud alarm sounded through the base. At the same time Poe’s personal holopad went off, and on it he saw a message from the General, summoning him to the main meeting area. And to bring Finn with him.

Poe showed the message to Finn and smirked. “See? Chaos.”

“What's the alarm for?” Finn spoke loudly as they began walking quickly down the hall.

“All Resistance members to their stations,” Poe explained. “We've only had a couple alarms like this in the past. It's either to evacuate the base, or prepare for attack, and I’m guessing we're not getting ready to run.”

Poe noticed the look of fierce determination that appeared on Finn’s face and quickened his pace and moved quickly through the throng of resistance members that were now appearing in the halls. Hopefully this urgency meant that Snap had returned successfully with the data they needed to go and attack Starkiller Base, and to rescue Finn’s friend, Rey.

Upon entering the nearly empty meeting room, Poe’s gaze immediately went to Snap, who was talking with the General. Behind her was Han Solo, C-3PO, and only a few of the other leading officials on the base.

Snaps saw Poe approaching and waved him over.

“Good to see you back alright, Snap,” Poe greeted him.

“Good to be back, Sir,” Snaps replied, a small smile forced on his face. “Wish I had better news for you though.”

Poe frowned as he approached the screen everyone was gathered around, “Were you unable to find Starkiller base?”

“Oh no, I found it alright,” Snaps said as he began to pull up something on the screen. “You're just really not going to like what I found.”

Poe glanced over at Leia, a troubled look on her face as she spoke in a low tone to Han, and then started going over the information Snap had gathered.

_You've_ got _to be kidding me._

Poe was stunned. Finn had said the weapon was immense, but seeing the exact stats on it was jarring. A huge planet, turned into a weapon of incredible destruction. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of infiltrating a base of that size. Quickly he began reviewing all the information they had on the base, trying to find a point of weakness, aware that Finn stood directly next to him, reading the material for himself.

In no time at all, the room had filled up with people waiting for instructions on what they were going to do. The whole base seemed to be holding its breath, waiting to find out what their fate would be in this war. Once all the main leaders, majors, captains, and officers were situated around the conference table, Poe looked to the General, who he thought would lead the discussion. Surprised, she gestured for him to address the room. He nodded and steeled himself.

“The scan data from Snap’s reconnaissance flight confirms Finn’s report,” Poe started, his voice raised to make sure he reached every ear in the vicinity.

“They've somehow created a hyper lightspeed weapon,” Snap confirmed, “built within the planet itself.”

“A laser cannon?” Brance, a high ranking officer asked in disbelief.

Snap shook his head, “We’re not sure how to describe a weapon of this scale.”

Major Ematt almost trembled in fear as he stated, “It's another Death Star!”

“I wish that were the case, Major,” Poe replied, unable to keep all the dismay out of his voice. He pulled up a hologram of the Death Star. “This was the Death Star,” he hit another control, bringing up a scale of the weapon, “This is Starkiller base.” Poe paused in the wake of the gasps heard all around him, letting the size and the gravity of the situation fill the room.

“So it’s big,” Han broke the silence, clearly unimpressed. Poe always liked the old Smuggler’s no nonsense ways.

“How is it possible to power a weapon of this size?” Asked Admiral Ackbar, ignoring Han’s comment.

“It uses the power of the sun,” Finn informed him, and the rest of the audience. “As the weapon is charged, the sun is drained until it disappears.”

All eyes turned away from Finn as an officer went to the Generals side and handed her a note. Silence once again took over as she read the message.

“The First Order, they're charging the weapon again now,” she took a steadying breath. “Our system is the next target.”

“Oh my,” C-3PO was the first to verbally react to the startling news. “Without the Republic fleet, were doomed!”

“Okay, how do we blow it up?” Han seemed to just blurt out. Once again Poe found himself admiring the space pirate, he had a problem and just went for the quickest solution to get it out of his way. “There's always a way to do that.”

After a moment, to everyone's surprise Leia admitted, “Han’s right,”

Han started back at her in disbelief of the words that came from her.

“In order for that amount of power to be contained,” Admiral Statura began hesitantly, “the base would need some sort of thermal oscillator…”

“There is one!” Finn said quickly, everyone watched him as he circled around the table back next to Poe, then pointed out a section on the hologram of Starkiller. “Precinct forty-seven. Here!”

Statura was considering the possibilities, “if we can destroy that oscillator, it might de-stabilize the core and cripple the weapon…”

“Maybe the planet!” Major Ematt said hopefully.

“We’ll go in there and hit that oscillator with everything we’ve got!” Pow said confidently, unable to completely hide the smirk that was starting to form on his lips. He was ready to take them out.

“They has defensive shields that our ships cannot penetrate,” Admiral Ackbar interjected, reminding the room of just how dire the situation was.

“We disable the shields,” Han said simply. He then turned to Finn, “Kid, you worked there, what do ya got?”

“I can do it.” Finn answered.

Poe noticed that Finn paused for just a second too long before answering.

“I can disable the shields. But I have to be there on the planet—“

“We’ll get you there,” Han cut Finn off, the smuggler was ready to go right then and there.

“Han, how?” Leia said exasperated to her estranged husband.

“If I told you, you wouldn’t like it,” Han replied honestly with a shrug of his shoulders.

Poe stepped in then, deciding now was the time to take action against the First Order. “So, we disable the shields, take out the oscillator and we blow up their big gun! All right,” Poe grinned internally at the fight that lay ahead of him, “Let’s go!”

Poe turned his head, wanting to wish Finn good luck, but found that he had already been pulled away by Han. Poe frowned at what may be his last chance to talk to his friend, but quickly dismissed the thought and headed to the hangar.

The crowds of people heading towards their stations seemed to part to let Poe by, as if their subconscious knew that nothing would stop him as he went to serve justice to the First Order for their crimes against the galaxy. As he stepped out into the bright sunlight, he quickly spotted the other X-Wing leaders that he needed to plan with.

“Head over to Black One, BeeBee,” Poe instructed his droid that had been following closely behind him. “Get her ready to fly, we’ve got a mission to lead.” He watched the little droid roll away, his domed head forward, determined to do his job the best he could.

Poe only needed a few moments to sort out plans with the team leaders. While this wouldn’t be a routine mission of any sort, they had one main target, so their goal would be simple: hit the oscillator and watch each other's backs. Poe had no doubt there would be a legion of TIE fighters waiting for them when they arrived.

Poe left the group and heading towards his X-Wing, determined to get the fleet ready and in the air as soon as possible. As he walk, he spotted Finn heading his way. For some reason, his insides seemed to freeze up, he suddenly wanted to embrace Finn again, to tell him to be careful and get back here safely. Poe shook his head, _what has gotten into me?_

Too soon Finn was nearly directly in front of him. Not knowing what to say, Poe gave Finn a determined smile and a clap on the shoulder. He hoped the simple gesture said more than Poe was able to say right at that moment.

Finn nodded back to him, his eyes filled with a fierce courage that Poe admired. Poe smiled at little wider at the renegade before turning his head and refocusing on the mission before him. The adrenaline that was beginning to course through him was making him more excited that he should be before what would most certainly be the most dangerous and deadly mission he had ever led.

**********************************

The pre-mission excitement had worn off about an hour ago, and had been replaced with impatience and a tension that was shared by all the pilots that were just sitting in their starships. The Resistance fleet was just one last short hyperspace jump away from Starkiller base, but they had to wait for the command to engage the First Order from D’Qar.

Finn and Han still hadn’t checked in, confirming that they has successfully taken down the planets shields. With the defenses still up, Starkiller would be impossible to take down, and the Resistance fleet would most certainly be doomed.

Poe sighed as he listened to the low chatter between the pilots on the comms. The waiting seemed to be making everyone more nervous, which wasn’t what his team needed. He hated to admitted that he was even becoming anxious.

_Is Finn alright? If he’s been captured by them…_

“This is Black Leader, all team leaders, check in,” Poe announced over the comms, desperate to get his mind off of everything that could go wrong.

“Blue leader, standing by! All Starships ready to go on your command,”

“This is Red leader, standing by. We’re all ready and waiting, Dameron,”

“I know we weren’t anticipating a wait like this,” Poe said with more enthusiasm than he was currently feeling, “but everyone stay focused. We got a mission to do.”

He paused before adding, “hopefully soon.”

That got a laugh out of his pilots.

Trying to occupy his mind, he began talking to BB-8, “Tell me more about your new friend, Rey, BeeBee-ate, Finn seems to like her.”

BB-8 started beeping excitedly about the hit on Jakku that had saved him from an evil scavenger who planned to take him apart! She lived in what BB described to be a broken down AT-AT, in the middle of the desert. Once again Poe found himself amazed and a little sad of how some people were forced to live. As BB started to describe the thugs who ganged up on her in surprise, a voice called out on Poe’s comm startled him.

“Black Leader!”

_That’s Gulch, from the Resistance!_

“Go to sub-lights! On your call!”

“Rodger that base!” They got the shields down! “Red squad, Blue squad, take my lead!” Poe shouted over the comms, more than ready to get this battle started. He heard multiple pilots check in as they dropped out of Hyperspace and then had Starkiller base staring back at them.

BB-8 instantly had the coordinates to the oscillator up for Poe and he sped up toward the target. He wanted to get as many runs on the oscillator before the First Order knew what hit them.

Within moments the hexagonal structuring was in Poe’s sights. He grinned wildly, ready to take it out by himself if he had too.

“Almost in range!” He informed the pilots. “Hit the target dead center, as many runs as we can get!”

He hears Snap and Nien acknowledging their instructions, but Poe is too focused to respond to both. They were just about on top of it now!

“Let’s light it up!” Poe encouraged the squad  

In almost perfect unison the X-Wings drop down dangerously close to the center of the oscillator, hitting it in quick succession.

“Direct hit!” Came a cheer from Bastian.

“But no damage,” came the annoyed voice of Ello Asty.

“Yeah we gotta keep hitting it!” Poe tried bolstering them as he arched his ship into sharp turn. “Another bombing run! Remember, when the sun is gone the weapon will be ready to fire—“

Poe glanced at the slowly diminishing ball of light.

“—But as long as there’s light, we got a chance!”

Just then BB-8 began beeping wildly, warning Poe of incoming enemy ships! Poe looked over his shoulder in disbelief. Easily three dozen TIE fighters, if not more, were speeding toward them.

“Guys we got a lot of company!” Poe warns over the comms to the squad.

“Blue team, focus on hitting than oscillator,” Poe instructed, forming a plan. “Red team, follow my lead and keep those TIEs off of them!”

Poe turned Black One around sharply again, preparing to face the TIEs head on. Before he was in range to properly aim, he began shooting randomly into the oncoming enemies, forcing them to scatter. Poe wanted to keep them from working together. The TIEs has superior speed to the X-Wings, and could easily overwhelm any of his team if multiple enemy ships teamed up against just one of them.

“Alright Red team let's keep them on their toes!”

The resistance X-Wings seemed to do well at first, yells of victory could be heard over the comms as four separate TIEs were taken out. Then like a flip of a switch their luck turned. Almost simultaneously two X-Wings were shot down, their loss piercing Poe straight in the heart. He kept his focus, there would be a time and place to mourn, but now was the time decimate the First Order.

Poe, invigorated by the loss of his teammates and his bloodlust rising, went on a breathtaking rampage of destruction. No TIE fighter could escape his scope, and one after another fell from the sky to the snowy landscape below. His flying expertise made sure he didn’t receive any hits from the enemy. He was untouchable.

But it just wasn’t enough.

For every TIE shot down, two seemed to take its place. The First Order seemed to have waves of replaceable troopers at their disposal to throw at the Resistance. To make matters worse, the oscillator was still in one very solid, working piece from what Poe could see. They needed a new plan, and quickly. More X-Wings were being overwhelmed and taken down and they couldn’t afford to lose even one more pilot.

“Jess, Snap, Furillo!” Poe called out over the comm, “Disengage and follow me, we're going in closer!”

After hearing their acknowledgement Poe began a steep nose dive towards the planet, seeing on his radar that his fellow pilots were following close behind.

“BeeBee-ate, find me a weak spot around the base of that building,” Poe begged his droid. “We need any advantage we can get!”

Nearly right away the droid begin highlighting structural weaknesses on the outside of the building. There wasn’t much, but it was something. He quickly sent the specs to his fellow pilots. In his moment of distraction he looked up and had to quickly pull his ship to the left, very narrowly avoiding a head on collision with a TIE fighter.

_That was too close, even for me._

“I got one behind me!” Snap suddenly called out, “See it?”

“Yeah I’m on it!” Jess quickly replied, taking out the enemy with a well aimed hit.

In that same moment as Poe lead his team down into the trenches leading towards the oscillator, a heavy cannon turned towards the X-Wings and fired. Poe easily dodged the missile, but a ship behind him was not so lucky.

“Furillo’s been hit,” Jess called out.

_Not another one down…_

“Watch for ground fire!” Snap warned across the comms.

“We gotta focus here,” Poe instructed to his team, “we’re not going to get another chance like this! Let’s try taking out the weak spots around the corners, see what damage we can do there.”

Immediately after speaking, another team of TIE fighters caught up with Poe’s small team, making it next to impossible for the pilots to concentrate on anything but keeping themselves alive. The three of them had to pull off spectacular maneuvers to avoid the never ending blasts from the enemy. After Jess took minor damage to her ship, Poe was forced to pull up and lead them away from the planet's surface, where they would have an easier time dodging the TIEs.

Poe head over the comms,”We just lost R-1!” Another X-Wing down. If his count was right, half of the Resistance fleet was lost. His heart was pounding too hard in his chest. The pressure to lead his team to either safety of victory was upon him, but at what cost?

“We’re overwhelmed!” Jess stated what everyone was thinking. “What do we do?”

If he didn’t make the right call soon, they would all die on this forsaken planet. But this would be their only chance to stop Starkiller base…

_What should I do?_

“Black Leader!” Ziff called out. “There’s a brand new hole on that oscillator! Looks like our friends got in!”

Poe looked down at the explosions bursting around the oscillator, his spirits raised.

“Red four! Red six! Cover us!” Poe commanded as he he sped towards the oscillator

“I’m on it!”

“Roger!”

Everyone else hit the target hard!” Poe said, the ghost of a smirk appearing on his face again, a sliver of hope renewed. “Give it everything you’ve got!”

Poe steered his X-Wing back down into the trenches leading up to the structure. He was immediately met by a small fleet of TIEs.

“I need some help here!” There was no room for his to maneuver, he was going to get hit! “I need some help!”

“I’m comin in!” Bastian called out, taking out the enemy that had Poe in his sights.

“Watch out!” More TIE fighters were closing in on them.

“I’m hit!” Ello called out, just second before his X-Wing blew to pieces.

I’ve got to end this, and NOW!

Poe searched desperately for something, anything! Then an opening into the side of the structure caught his eye.

_I can make it._

_I think._

“All teams, I’m going in!” Poe informed them. “Pull up and cover me.”

There was a moment of hesitation before the pilot Niv Lek replied, “Copy that Black Leader! Good luck Poe!”

Poe saw out of the corner of this eye as the other ships trailed off his radar as he approached the breach. He quickly engaged his S-Foils back into the closed position as he flipped his ship onto its side and just barely flew threw the narrow hole in the structure and into the interior of the oscillator.

Poe had little time to take in the dangerous spot he landed himself in. Inside there wasn’t much room to maneuver, and there was small explosions going off in what seemed in every direction. Without hesitation he put his S-Foils back into attack position and began firing at every solid structure he got in his sights. He barely heard BB-8’s terrified beeps from behind him as he was concentrating so hard on not getting them both killed.

Finally, the damage that he had done was beginning to down the structure. All around him the building was collapsing in on itself. _Okay, time to go_ , Poe thought as he searched frantically for his exit. BB-8 practically yelled out the opening location to Poe, the droid wanted out of there even more than it’s master did.

Poe grinned as he sped out of the failing structure. He was pleased to see the remaining TIE fighters were in retreat and the rest of his team was on the offensive. He looked back down at the planet, now completely unstable, as deep cracks had begun appearing on its surface. They had done even more damage than they had dared to hope to do.

After a yell of triumph, he called out over the comms, “All teams nice job!” Then he dialed into the Resistance base, “General, the targets been destroyed!”

It was a relief to hear Leia's voice again, knowing they had stopped the weapon in time. “Good job Dameron! Now retreat immediately!”

_That… wasn’t what I was expecting to hear._

“The planet could be unstable!” She continued. “Get out of there now.”

Poe didn’t hesitate, “If we retreat, we leave our friends behind! I haven’t gotten confirmation that the Millennium Falcon has left the base yet.”

Leia was ready for Poe’s argument, “Poe, outside of those here, your group is all that remains of the Resistance that’s capable of putting up a fight. If you stay to find them, we lose you all.”

“General, with all due respect,” Poe said evenly, firm in his resolve. “We’re not leaving our friends behind. Teams, who’s with me?”

The words barely left his mouth when Snap replied, “We’re all with you Poe, you know that!”

Agreements could be heard from everyone across the comms. They were leaving no man still standing behind!

Over the General’s protests, Poe shouted on the comms, “Then let’s go do some good and find them!”

A cheer was made from everyone as the remaining ships in the fleet swept back down over the planet's cracking surface.

“BeeBee-ate, scan the area for the Falcon,” Poe instructed his droid as he tried visibly looking for iconic ship. “They should be somewhere near here, let’s make sure we get them outta here with us!”

Within moments BB-8 began beeping excitedly, he detected a ship that definitely wasn’t from the First Order. Poe watched as the large freighter on his radar slowly traveling along an icy ridge before it was set down. It was still a little ways away from his current position, but they’d track the ship down as fast as they could.

“All right teams follow me, I think I’ve found the Falcon, lets escort her and her crew off this rock!”

Poe double checked that they weren’t being followed by any rogue TIEs before sending the coordinates to the fleet and turning his ship about. He flew high above the trees, having a sudden urge to see the Falcon’s current crew safely on board. As he began to panic over the lack of news from the ground team, he saw the recognizable ship with its bright blue engine lights rising rapidly into the sky.

“All teams, I’ve got eyes on them!” Poe grinned and took a breath of relief at the sight.

The Millennium Falcon and the Resistance fleet began speeding away from the dying planet. The need to escape now fully realized as they had their friends in their sights. No point in being engulfed in the impending explosion of the planet right after they had won the day.

Once they broke the atmosphere, Poe punched in his Hyperspace coordinates and transmitted them to the rest of the ships.

“Our jobs done here,” Poe called out. “Let’s go home!”

Poe watched the stars stretch out around him as his ship was pulled into light speed. He sat back in his seat and pulled off his helmet for a moment to run a hand through his hair. That had been too tight of a mission. Too many lives had been lost. He didn’t regret taking out the super weapon, but he feared for the future of the Resistance. Leia has been right, who ever remained of their fleet was all they had left to fight against the First Order.

_The odds aren’t exactly in our favor._

Poe ran a hand over his face. Let’s worry about that later. He replaced his helmet and connected to the Falcons private comm line. “Millennium Falcon this is Black One, do you copy?”

After a delay, Poe got a reply from Chewbacca. His Wookiee was a little rusty, but Poe got the gist of the message, and felt his heart sink. Chewbacca said that they heard him, and that all remaining survivors had made it back on board.

Remaining survivors. Who didn’t make it?

Poe swallowed hard. He couldn’t bring himself to ask who wasn’t on board. Chewy seemed to know this, and simply replied that he was glad they could help take down the oscillator and that they’d see the fleet back at the base. Then the connection was cut.

Poe had too much time to consider who’d they lost that day. Half of their pilots had gone down on Starkiller, pilots that he trusted his life to on more than one occasion. Good people that had been fighting for that they believed in. He was failing miserably at his attempts to keep the guilt from crippling him. This was his team. His team that looked to him to lead them into and out of fights like this. And he couldn’t do it.

And who did they loose off the Falcon? Poe felt sick to his stomach at the thought of Finn losing his life on the enemy planet that he had risked everything to escape. Finn deserved a life of his own, not a death at the hands of the enemy that he had literally just managed to get away from.

Then there was this mysterious girl, Rey. Poe had no idea who she really was, but he had a feeling that she was important, that fate had laid out a path for her. Then the loss for Finn of his new friend, or possibly something more, would be devastating for him. Poe would never want Finn to experience that kind of tragedy.

Despite all that Poe prayed to whatever gods or superior beings might be out there among the stars that they had not lost Han Solo. Poe had seen the spark of joy in the General's eyes when he had re-entered her life. Han had always been a symbol of something more, an ordinary man that was constantly proving himself extraordinary. Poe couldn’t bear the thought of that death, especially for Leia who had already lost so much of her family…

Before long the stars soon snapped back into place as they dropped out of Hyperspace. Poe had the remaining fleet escort the Falcon back to base, making sure it got priority landing on the hangar.

Once close enough to the ground, Poe pulled his ship away from the rest of the fleet to land. He knew he had much to debrief the General on, but he also needed to know who was on the Falcon. Poe landed a little rougher than he normally would’ve treated Black One, but he was getting impatient. He needed the answer he was dreading to get.

As soon as he was on the ground he raced over to the Falcon. The sight that greeted him almost stopped him in his tracks, Chewbacca was carrying a limp figure down the ramp, and placed it onto the back of a wheeled stretcher.

The figure was Finn.

Poe ran up to his friend, and looked down at him fearing the worst until he heard a medic shout out, “We got a pulse!”

Poe relief at those words were brief, something was still very wrong with Finn, he looked like he was already gone. Poe stayed with him and helped push the stretcher to the base’s medical station. Within seconds of arriving there Poe was pushed out, a swarm of doctors and nurses surrounded Finn, clearly knowing that he was in critical condition and time must not be on his side. Poe watched from a distance, barely able to see what they were doing to treat his friend.

Then the dark truth of what must’ve happened to his friend hit in that room.

Poe’s old jacket, now Finn’s, had been tossed aside of the operating table, mostly likely so the medics could get closer to whatever issue needed fixing.

Almost robotic, Poe stepped forward and picked up the discarded jacket, thinking he’d hold onto it for when Finn was better. But as he picked up the old jacket he immediately saw what was wrong.

The back of the jacket had nearly been ripped in two. But it wasn’t just a rip. The jacket had been burned, the edges singed to an evil black. Poe felt himself shaking in uncontainable rage, his nails digging into the leather of the jacket, his vision unfocused as he came to the realization of how Finn got hurt.

_A lightsaber did this. Kylo did this._

In his rage and his sudden fear for Finn’s fate, a heavy weight seemed to leave Poe’s mind. The knowledge of Finn standing up to Kylo, and taking a hit from his lightsaber like this changed Poe.

All the need and want that he had carried for Ben Solo for so many years left him. He gasped out loud at the unexpected physical change he felt as the longing for Ben just vanished. Seeing the cruelty that his lost lover had inflicted so violently on his friend was what he must’ve needed to see first hand to finally let go of him.

Finn had already been through so much, he did not deserve this pain.

As he stood there in the back of the room, clutching desperately to the ruined jacket, with the chaos of the medics trying to save Finn’s life around him, Poe vowed that he would personally make sure that the twisted monster that he once knew as Ben solo, now Kylo Ren, would _never_ touch Finn again.

 

 

 

 


	13. Epilogue

Even with the planet collapsing into itself, the snow on Starkiller base was falling so very peacefully around Kylo Ren as he lay defeated on the cold ground.

_How did I let this happen?_ He thought as the girl ran from him. _I should have bested her. I should have that lightsaber. She should be the one with her face torn open!_

Kylo’s rage did nothing to dull the searing pain that traveled along his chest and over his face. He didn’t dare touch it, afraid to know how far the damage truly extended.

_Not that it matters, seeing as how I’m going to die right here along with this planet._

The wound that the Wookie had inflicted earlier on his hip combined with the slash to his knee the girl that given had him, had left Kylo unable to pick himself up off the ground. With the adrenaline now gone from his veins, the pains of the day's defeat left him lower than he ever possibly imagined he could go. This is not how he envisioned his end.

In the distance, he suddenly saw bright lights appear through the trees. He sat himself up, a glimmer of hope that possibly someone had found him.

But there was only more disappointment. As the lights turned away he saw the unmistakable outline of the Millennium Falcon fleeing the base. _Of course they would have escaped._

Not a moment after he saw possibly an even worse sight: an X-Wing flew directly above where he sat in the cold. Another ship he recognized all too well. Black One. The pilot’s ship.

The planet trembled erratically as Kylo thought on the trouble that pilot had caused him. Rejecting him, escaping him, and now most likely being the cause of his death by somehow destroying Starkiller. Kylo couldn’t believe that one man could be so infuriating.

Kylo’s intense rage almost completely distracted him from a ship that was landing not too far away from him. As he turned to look behind him, he smiled a little in spite of his current state: that was most definitely a First Order ship, and he knew the man that was running towards him. Hux had found him.

“Ren, get up!” The General shouted at him as he approached. “We don’t have much time!”

Kylo attempted to get back to his feet, his injured leg shaking uncontrollably. He bared his teeth and he forced himself up, unwilling to let Hux see him in this weak state. As he finished pulling himself up, a Hux was at his side, and immediately grabbed him and clutched Kylo to himself.

He unwillingly gasped through his teeth, Hux had pulled his hip right into Kylo’s fresh wound.

“Come on, Ren!” Hux ignored Kylo’s pain and started pulling him along roughly. “I’m not dying here because of you and your complaints!”

Hearing Hux’s insults got Kylo moving again. He gritted his teeth and limped quickly to the command shuttle in front of them. When they were nearly upon it Hux was practically dragging Kylo on board. The moment they cleared the ramp Hux yelled into the nearly empty cabin, “Take off, now! Get us the hell off of this station!”

Inside the ship Kylo tripped over Hux’s boot, cursing as he fell harder onto the General. More gently than Kylo knew he was capable of, Hux held him firmly to his chest as he lowered Kylo to the ground. He made sure that Kylo was leaned up against the wall of the ship before swiftly walking over to ships pilot. Words were exchanged that Kylo couldn’t quite hear, but soon enough he saw the blue and white tell tale lines that signaled their jump to Hyperspace through the ship's main viewport. After the jump, Hux closed the door between the pilots and the cabin area, leaving The General and Kylo alone.

“I thought I lost you,” Hux whispered as me knelt down in front of him. “Did that _girl_ do this to you?” He asked as his hand hovered over Kylo’s face.

Kylo winced as he frowned and looked away, not wanting to admit that he’s been defeated by such an unworthy opponent.

“I’ll find her and tear her apart for doing this to you, Ren,” Hux said in a deadly whisper that even sent a shiver of fear down Kylo’s spine. He winced again as Hux barely grazed the wound on his upper arm.

“The girl didn’t do that,” Kylo spat out harshly. “The traitor did that to me.”

“FN-2187?” The General asked in disbelief. “He took up a lightsaber against you?”

Kylo was seeing red, his rage and hate and broken pride welling up so intensely inside of him. He could feel himself shaking, his crazed anger becoming too much to contain. He clutched the Generals wrist tightly, needed to ground himself to something before he became completely unstable in the small confined space.

“I will kill them all.” Kylo growled lowly. “I swear it… The traitor, that girl, the whole Resistance will fall before me…”

_And my pilot,_ Kylo thought bitterly, _he will suffer greatly at my hands for turning them all against me…_

***************************************

Poe was sleeping uneasily, barely balanced on the chair he was sitting on, the old damaged leather jacket in his lap. After seeing the completed map to Luke Skywalker with the General, he had tried to return to Finn’s side. He hadn’t been allowed back into the medical station yet, so he had attempted to wait it out in the hallway outside to learns Finn’s condition as soon as he could. After the long battle and even longer night of waiting, the need to sleep eventually overwhelmed the pilot.

It was the sound of soft footsteps that startled him out of his sleep. _Near death experiences are making me too jumpy,_ Poe thought as he rubbed his eyes. He looked and saw the source of the steps, and saw the girl that Finn had risked everything to save. Rey.

She was peeking through the doorway to the med center, probably looking for her hero. Right as Poe was getting up to join her, one of the nurses walked up to the young woman and beckoned her to follow. After a moment of hesitation, Poe followed too, impatient for news of Finn.

As he turned a corner, he saw the girl leaning over Finn, laid out on a medi-table, now dressed in sterile white robes. She just sat there for a moment next to him, Poe could then see her speaking to him. Then his heart unexpectedly stopped in his chest as she bent over Finn and kissed his forehead.

Poe grasped his old jacket closer to him. _I told myself that he was taken. I can’t want him. I know I can’t have him, I don’t deserve Finn… Why do I keep doing this to myself?_

He then turned away from Finn and Rey, letting them have their privacy. He slumped against a wall, taken aback by the sudden sadness he felt knowing that he’d be sticking it out alone again.

_Of course I am, I shouldn’t need anyone. I’ve been alone for years, Finn wasn’t going to change that..._

“Poe?” A quiet voice spoke from his side.

Poe stiffened in surprise. “Oh, hey! Sorry, I, uhh, I don’t think we’ve properly met,” He did his best to smile brightly at the young woman.

“I’m Poe Dameron,” he held out his hand for her to shake.

Surprising him again, after hesitating Rey caught him in a quick hug.

“Thank you, for saving Finn,” he said after pulling away. “I don’t know if I could’ve made it off of that base without him.”

“To be fair, I think it was Finn who saved me, originally,” Poe said, his smile now genuine. “I wouldn’t have made it off their Star Destroyer if it wasn’t for him. We both owe him a lot.”

Rey smiled and looked back at Finn, lying deathly still.

“Well, thank you for saving each other, then.” She responded.

  
“Could you do me a favor?” She asked suddenly. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but I need someone to look out for him. I know he’s capable of taking care of himself, though I don’t think he should be on his own.”

Rey tentatively put a hand on Poe’s arm, “He could use a friend like you.”

Poe smiled and nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. “Of course, I’ll stay with him as much as I can. But, where are you going?”

“You haven’t heard?” She cocked her head, “Leia is sending me to find Luke.”

“Oh!” This girl just kept surprising him. “Well then, I’ll make sure he’s here waitin for ya when you get back.”

Rey looked away for a moment, “I honestly don’t know if I’ll be coming back…”

She took a steadying breath and continued before Poe could question her words, “Thank you again, Poe. He’s lucky to have you.”

She squeezed his arm gently then walked swiftly past him. Poe watched her go, confused at her statement of possibly not returning. Once she was out of view, Poe walked over to Finn’s bedside. He sat next to him, then grasped his hand that lay at his side.

“Don’t worry buddy,” he whispered. “I’m sure she’ll be back for ya. She be crazy to leave you here just with me…”

Poe stayed in the quiet room with Finn for longer than he intended to. Later that night he was eventually pulled from his thoughts as the General walked into the room

“Yes, General?” He asked after she just stood in the doorway somberly, staring at Finn’s still figure.

She spoke in a grave tone, “It’s time to leave, Dameron.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lon wait for these last two chapters, but hopefully they were worth it! I’m a little sad ending this part of the saga, but also super stoked to start part three! I promise Poe and Kylo and Finn will all have some major action in the next bit of this series >:3


End file.
